first five swims of the summer

1. corsair bay, christchurch

the water was real cold, but we stayed in for ages, out in the deep. there was a cool pontoon thing which a bunch of teens were on but they all jumped off when me and alice hopped on. jax and alice are good swim buddies. lots of cool dogs in the water too. one of them was standing on the shore while their owner swam out and then decided he missed him too much and swam a really long way to get to him.






















2. muriwai, auckland

bloody love murawai, could have stayed in the water for a long time but my ears started to really hurt and i had to go in. had to dodge a lot of boogie boarders. v. pleased at the variety of crackers/dips supplied by my friends on this beach trip.

























3. abel tasman national park

a well-deserved swim as we were walking back from our campsite carrying heavy things and stopped for lunch at a lil beach with lots of rocks. james took ages to 'go under' and i got annoyed and kept splashing him. don't be a bloody wuss. some kayakers went past and wolf-whistled at us. i don't think we were doing anything 'wolf-whistle' worthy or anything.






















4. hokitika beach, hokitika

the west coast is pretty wild/unsafe to swim in. we went to two other beaches in the area and wanted to swim but decided it was too dangerous. we read somewhere that only "experienced swimmers" should swim at this beach. i'm probably not an experienced swimmer but i'm pretty used to swimming in rough surf waves. i think we were only in for a little while because it was so rough and the tide kept trying to pull us out. it was really nice and refreshing though.






















5. lake mahinapua

we woke up early one morning, went straight to the wharf and jumped into the lake. it was kind of gross b/c i wasn't sure how deep it would be and when i dived in i touched some dank, slimy mangroves. it was okay when you weren't touching them though. it was a really beautiful place to swim, there were snow-capped mountains and things. afterwards we ate honey and banana sandwiches up on the wharf.

best gigs of 2011

sufjan stevens

venue: bruce mason centre
went with: xinia

good: just a real good show, really cool video projections and backup dancers and idk sufjan nailed it

bad: susie and zoe couldn't come b/c it was sold out


campus a low hum

venue: flock house, bulls
went with: zoe, susie

good: seeing transcription of organ music lying down in the grass in the sunshine and the other time with 15 or so people in this really cool old building as the sun was setting, drab doo riffs b/c of phat dancing, sharpie crows, toro y moi, wet wings, others..

bad: nothing i can think of

deer park and dear times waste

venue: wine cellar
went with: petruschka and hannah

good: i have many good and bad memories reclining in amongst the couches at the wine cellar watching bands but this was definitely a good one. red wine happy haze. good in my earholes.

bad: i had work early the next day


the gladeyes

venue: the gladeyes' flat on cross st
went with: hannah

good: got p. drunk and talked to lots of good people, was a fangirl and got gwen from gladeyes to sign my cd and got a pic with her, danced, just felt real nice

bad: the last gladeyes show ever, threw up in public


how to dress well

venue: third and social
went with: mel, laura, hannah, xinia, pet

good: hanging with ma gurlz, tom krell is a babe, suicide dream 2, emoshunal as heck

bad: really bad dj after htdw, saw tom krell smash a bottle of champagne in the street like a diva (maybe this is 'good' idk)

guitar wolf

venue: lucha lounge
went with: sam, matt, louie

good: i rate this gig just because i had a lot of fun, had a real good mosh (who am i...) and got kicked in the face twice by crowd surfers. punkass/rock dat shit. also funny old ass japanese punk guys.

bad: occasionally having to pretend to be interested in sports or gaming via hanging out with dumb boys

haiku

in a dream i reach out to touch you
and the texture of your skin is
the surface of a lake

the mid-morning sun that streams
through my window does not feel
as good as your body with mine

stumbling outside with coffee
i take a cigarette between my fingers and
i watch the smoke move all around me

together
we put our hands into oceans
and rub the salt water into our skin

sitting on the steps
i feel the shapes of my memories change
like shadows and moving light

your hands
are the only thing that keep my body
from incorporeality

i never remember anything else
but the sensation of skin with skin and
the scent of you

the last 5 times i went to the cinema

'girl with a dragon tattoo', odeon in camden town, london, uk

i went to see this because i needed to pass some time. it was the only thing on at the time and i was worried i wouldn't like it. but it was pretty good and i got to see daniel craig's bum which pleased me more than i realised it would. generally daniel craig's essence was enjoyable, also a surprise. there were a few pretty horrible rape parts in this film and a lot of rape talk. there was a satisfying conclusion and nudity and motorbikes. snow and smoking.
snacks: chocolate chip biscuits from m&s, beetroot, parsnip and sweet potato crisps from wholefoods
level of sexiness: high, multiple sex scenes - some good, a few rapey

'the artist', the cornerhouse in manchester, uk

my cousin made me see this film. it is a silent film that is currently being 'critically acclaimed' i think. it had similar music to 'citizen kane', which isn't always enjoyable for me. it was loud. i thought it was making interesting 'statements' about the film industry. i told my cousin i didn't really connect with it but have since wondered if that's because i didn't find anyone that attractive in it. but it was a pretty cheesy story. seemed like the director deliberately chose people with big mouths so their facial expressions would convey more emotion. there is a really talented dog in it too.
snacks: none
level of sexiness: pretty low ya'll

'the descendants', BAM in brooklyn, ny

my friend caroline said she cried reading both the book and seeing the film of this. and george clooney is in it. these are two good things. i got a cupcake and took myself to see this film on a sunday night so i felt like i was 'doing something' instead of just staying in. i have tried to explain the plot of this film but it's not  a very exciting plot, just a 'family drama' sort of, set in hawaii. i have been thinking that sometimes the most effective plots are not the ones with the most twists or whatever. in this case that is a true fact. the very VERY end when the credits roll.. i had a lil teary then.
snacks: pre-cinema cupcake, water
level of sexiness: um.. it's effing george clooney. though kissing or sex to speak of. but the daughter is a bit of a honey

'twilight: breaking dawn', palm beach gardens, fl

saw this with jacob's mum and her coworker. i had watched the 3 previous films in bulk over thanksgiving. i think the strongest aspect of twilight is the sense of angst and romantic torment that these films convey. bella and jacob had a lovely wedding. i confess that i have a fairly huge lady boner for young robert pattinson in spite of his eyebrows. these films are rubbish and unmemorable.. but i am totes team jacob.
snacks: none
level of sexiness: omg. edward is so hawny he smashes the whole effing bed around bella. get involved.

'drive', cinema nova, melbourne, aus

me, stacey and ziggy went to see this one afternoon in my last week in australia. the cinema was pretty full and we had to sit away from ziggy which was pretty lucky for him because we gushed about ryan gosling like the whoooole time. he is a full babe. just so manly in it.. bryan cranston is in it and he is truly a king amongst men. we sat next to a guy who was doing really amusing reactions, you know the guy. it has good music.
snacks: none
level of sexiness: dat elevator scene.. maaaan.

summer

list of cultural activities undertaken over the last 2 months

USA
American Museum of Natural History, NY - pretty legit, lots of dinos and animal displays 8/10

Museum of Modern Art (MoMA), NY - where I discovered my love for Monet 9/10

Museum of Sex, NY - lotsa nekkid bodies and porn etc. gettin that lief education 8/10

NBC studio tour, NY - 8.5/10

Brooklyn Museum, NY - went on a 'Target Free Saturday' and people were dressed up in 20s gear to celebrate a current exhibition. big ole reproductions of architecture from different parts of america ie freaky empty houses 7.5/10

Museum of the Moving Image, NY - saw Jim Henson exhibition & lots of old ass cameras/radios/tvs. real legit. also has a white ass foyer. 10/10

Metropolitan Museum of Art, NY - real intimidating amount of things at this museum, only went because spencer madsen told me to. worth it though, saw some cool old armour 8/10

The UN, NY - we had a Peruvian tour guide. he had a real cool accent. he inspired me, Emma and Caz to change the world 10/10

Guggenheim Air & Space Museum, DC - lots of airplanes/spaceships, saw a wright brothers plane. had a supreme hangover whilst visiting, so only like 7/10

also in DC I went inside the Senate, which has museum-esque qualities, and a whole bunch of memorials and things

additionally went to the 9/11 Memorial & accompanying exhibits

Empire State Building at night time - is smaller than it seems in 'Sleepless in Seattle' but a worthwhile thing to do. except for make sure you go at night to avoid crowds. 7.5/10

UK
National Museum of Wales, Cardiff - pretty nice, learnt some stuff about lava and the earth but the exhibitions were kinda old 7.5/10

Quarry Bank Mill, Manchester - seems like it has a lot of money put into it, there were heaps of old machines. it was kewl I guess. 7/10

People's Palace, Glasgow - full of arbitrary exhibits, largely not working. makes up for strange exhibits by being in a real nice building 6/10

Riverside Museum, Glasgow - heaps of touch screens and real nice cars. kirsty got me a lil penny with a motorbike on it. bought a neat tote bag 8.5/10

marble eyes

the moon was bright and i could see your face above mine and i thought maybe the sun did not set but i walked outside and said, "the moon, the moon!" and we looked at it, how it illuminated the landscape and our bodies, putting our heads together saying "wow wow wow" and feeling excited about the moon and the night and each other and how these were the only things that mattered at all

i'm back

today i arrived home and found an envelope addressed to me and in it was just this polaroid

feels nice to be back at the shack, swept the pathway outside and listened to records all afternoon

tonight i am going to try to convince my friends to come to a dolly parton covers night with me

i will post more about summer tizzimes when i am not so tired/sad

just bloody sad mate

yoohoo

experiencing a trajectory something like cardiff --> liverpool --> manchester --> glasgow

want all my shoes to look 'noncommittal'

"notes from national museum of wales
old ass fossils from australia
like how lava works, it's like earth's innards coming up to say hello
um... woah... @volcanoes
'life confined to the sea'
subtropical tizzimes ~300 mil yrs ago
hey lil dino
dank ass mammoth robot"

just want to look at monet for the rest of my life, such a legit painter

head spin via bathtime

idea for a zine: ode to tescos

woman on the bus has a wig on

top 5 2011 things

1. antipobros
2. working at bird rescue
3. the shack
4. hands like mirrors launch
5. writing a lot of poetry

2011 was a bomb ass year

also hi i'm in wellington, it's nice here

1 follower

wake up feeling like i want to abandon all ideas of having a 'career' and start a bakery or dessert house

in my possession: 6-7 books, 6-7 notebooks (2 full, 1 in use, 4 unused), 1 2012 diary, 2 digital cameras, phone, laptop, ipod, clothes, 2 balls of wool, 4 crochet hooks, 1 pair knitting needles, 3 pairs of shoes, 2 scarves. makeup. £200 cash.

feel like i want to write a collection of short stories about travel, but i wouldn't even want to read that maybe

just cut short a panic attack as i have work in the morning

get heavily invested in a mini series of 'great expectations' / "the agony of a broken heart is exquisite. you want to die but you just keep living, day after day" - miss havisham

wondering how you felt that night

begin to understand how fully you can miss a place, start seeing the next couple of months unfolding in europe,

but it always feels like i'm here, writing

remembering airport desperation

feel bemused by liberal and serious use of terms of endearment in couples

like having my tea made without people asking me how i like it, feels nice to have someone else in control of that

getting good at listening to old people via all the people who live in my auntie and uncle's village

just thinking that 'dishwater gray' - specifically with an a, not an e - really describes my emoshuns right now

want to be reading but to not have my eyes doing the reading

vivdly transport myself back to mundane 2011 things like rummaging for my student card in my bag to get into the lab at uni or looking out for the bus on johnston street

international text messaging

trying to count to 30 in french to get to sleep, no way of knowing if i got it right

welsh accents...

btw

merry xmas from the shack

day in review xmas 2K11

woke up at 7.30am with a tummyache and realised i had a txt from steaky asking to skype early so i hid under the covers and did a sneaky convo with her. had a nice chat, felt a bit weird about it being the end of her xmas day though. went back to sleep and got up properly at 10.30/11. skyped my family. missed my lil sis a bit. my cousin made us a small portion of scrambled egg which we decided was a 'scrambled egg canape'. drank some prosecco. did presents about 12pm. i was happy cos i crocheted hats for miriam and steph (girlfriends of my cousins) and they both liked them. got a few bits and pieces. began helping make the christmas dinner, peeled carrots, parsnips and got the brussel sprouts ready. hung around watching telly and pencilling things into my 2012 diary. aladdin was on. singin in the rain was on. dinner was ready about 3.30pm. was tasty. ate a fair bit. had a break in between dinner and pudding where we just watched more christmas tv, i think. oh we all got really sleepy and i went upstairs to listen to 'blue christmas' by first aid kit and write sentimental things in my notebook. then it was puddin time. it was lit on fire cos it had brandy on it. kewl. basically dinner took about 6 hours. we had the pudding at 6pm then we watched more tv, more 'top gear' than i feel comfortable admitting. then we played a cool game that miriam knew which lasted for probably 2 hrs. then we had champagne jellies and cheese at probably about 9pm. theeeeen we watched the new ab fab episode which was really funny. watched a 'man lab' christmas episode where they were trying to make it snow. went to bed. couldn't sleep so went on facebook and had a chat to fraser. was nice to chat with dat guy. pretty good day, except for it felt like it lasted about a million days in one, i'd give it a 7/10

day in review 25/12/11

woke up at 7:15am and had a piece of pb toast and checked internet stuff. drove 20 minutes to get to work at the cattery where i met my cattery cohort. we both rubbed our eyes and made loud grunting sounds to indicate that talking was not a thing via tiredness. there were lots of cats in the cattery, maybe 25 or something and i mean it's a pretty good way to start my xmas morning because i really like cats. a cat called tilly scratched my hand, a cat called titus attacked my leg and left scratches on it and a cat [whose name i can't remember] bit me p. bad when i went to give her medication. lil shits. was in the cattery for about 3 hours, cranking solid gold fm all the while. drove to my parent's house to have a shower and get ready. mum was really stressed out about everything and me and dad were a bit scared to go near her. got to my sister's and she was real sick in bed, real bad b/c it is my niece's 1st xmas and she was really excited about it. i drank beer and played with the baby mostly and then we ate food which was a++. more family came and we ate more. got real real into dat pav. opened presents, got some money + underwear + socks + a field guide to nz birds which i geeked out on for the rest of the day. helped my bb niece, nova open all of her presents. my sister bought her a book called 'whose poos'. skyped my aunty and little cousin in sydney for a bit, drank more, called some friends, talked to family, played with baby, ate more food. then most of the family left and it was just me, my parents, my sister, her boyfriend and his dad. drank 'champas' and listened to some sweet beats until my mum was like 'what is this...' and put on steely dan. was going to see my friend off at the airport but she got the time wrong so i couldn't and then i felt sad but maybe okay because goodbyes are dumb anyway. got into a fight with my dad because he was drunk and being a dick. standard family gathering stuff really. ate more food and then went back to my parents. all up i drank 3 beers, 2 red wine and 2 champagne. welcome to xmas day family-related boredom drinking. skyped susie for a wee while and did internet things. didn't want to go out b/c i was tired and had work early the next morning so i just read my book (today and tomorrow by ofelia hunt) for about an hour and then went to sleep.

maybe 7/10 overall

my 2011 life via tweets/retweets (part 2)

august

chewing air waves chewing gum as a distraction from crippling loneliness

My Top 3 #lastfm Artists: Pavement (84), Sparklehorse (19) & A Tribe Called Quest (12)

sitting on my floor by the heater listening to Julie Doiron is how I always want to be

can the doctor who theme song be played at my funeral


september

just opened the TC article "How To Be Happy" and closed it 3 seconds later

"how you get all dat ass in dem jeans" is a thought I think almost every day re: nothing in particular

imagine if ricky martin was in coldplay

feel like my new sweater validates my existence

any social situation where it is okay to wear slippers

the world is scary, gonna eat a brownie


october

typed "reasons why i don't want to die" and below it typed "hummus"

RT @zacharywhalen: i'm worried about people who i don't like liking me

already had 4 cups of tea today, life is bloody nuts

ctrl f the words 'bloody' and 'mate' in my inner monologue

today i showed my work colleagues how to do a 'tim-tam slam'


november

dank ass emoshuns

i want to record the sound of rain and always be listening to that in my headphones

friday night action twitpic.com/7fowgx

RT @madisonlangston: sex and the city and beer forever


december

i don't understand why everyone doesn't wear backwards caps all the time

told a friend me and other friends were going to see 'how to dress well' and he earnestly asked if it was some kind of conference

too much socialising, need to spend all weekend alone in my room reading and watching gilmore girls

RT @spencermadsen: so much of being human is doing nothing

@feeeeeeel baby move your butt butt butt

life things

i think the reason i haven't been able to write a lot lately is because i feel too 'in' things/life, i am finding it hard to step out of my body and look at things i am experiencing

is it wrong to want detachment?

all i am doing is the things i am doing and other than that, trying to distract myself from the implications of these things

thinking about boys

the other day me and huna were in her car and she said something about not thinking anything at all at that particular moment and we paused and then both starting rapping to a biggie song

a lot of the time when i go to write something i just try to describe what it feels like to be in my body and how that relates to things in my head

i just watched grey gardens and i cried twice

i made a xmas card for my boss at bird rescue, it has a picture of a bird on the front, is that too obvious

there are a lot of things i need to do and none of them are particularly unpleasant but there are just a lot of things

i like cats the most out of all the things

read an interview with Haruki Murakami in the newpaper and he said "If I'm taking a walk and I see a cat, I'm happy." then i cut out the picture of his face that went with the article and stuck it on my wall

tonight i feel like there is a tiny animal inside of my chest

things are about to change i think

explosions in the sky: best gigs of 2011

going to go a series of 'best gigs of 2011', starting with a gig i went to last night

- more good/sweaty memories from the kings arms, they never check ID so i spent a lot of my underage ass time here
- at the bar asked for 'the cheapest red wine', cute bar guy seemed to 'get' it and not judge me, felt cheeky
- me and xinia discussed the lack of bar peanuts etc in new zealand, this is always in movies, how do we not have this
- the sweat factor was palpable, the heat, combined with the wafts of marijuana made the room unbelievably dank, it was just so dank..
- walls and walls of sounds comin' atcha
- i thought it was cool how they just went from one song into the other without really stopping/pausing for applause but it made people really confused about when to clap
- they have 3 guitarists, p. unbeatable
- spent time focusing on each member of the band individually to see what they were up2
- reached euphoric heights during 'birth and death of the day'
- sometimes just closed my eyes and let my body move how it wanted to
- they played for an hour and half but i felt unaware of time as a thing
- i wasn't aware of much else apart from when this guy stood next to me and kept looking at me, step off, trying to enjoy music here bro/also kept nearly tripping over this guy's bag which was down on the floor
- just really good musicians who know their shit, which is real good to watch
- really want to hear them play sitting down in a field somewhere
- managed to skillfully avoid all people i knew at the gig, seemed like a plus, sorry it just seems like an awkward place to run into people, when the music is really loud and you are trying to be like SO HOW HAVE YOU BEEN LATELY
- stopped in at the petrol station where some jock bro asked us if we had been to eits and said it was 'fucking sick aye'



btw, around the 5:25 mark is when euphoria happened

FL

(belated ass post, sorry jake)

- driving around town a lot, listening to various 90s rnb, but also rihanna and lmfao
- bucky the dog
- hot ass weather (coming from DC anyway), having to buy a new dress from h&m
- first wholefoods experience
- trivia on wednesday with jake's friends taylor (?), regen and her mum, failing at all the sports questions
- watching 3 twilight movies with jake's mum (2 on dvd, 1 at the movies)
- talking to jacob's family about australia
- stealing leftover halloween candy from near the front door
- watching country music channel
- listening to country music in the car with jake's mum
- jewish vibes
- watching macy's thanksgiving parade
- thanksgiving foods: sweet potato pie, green bean casserole and stuffing specifically. mmmmmm

- going out on thanksgiving night and talking to a girl who went to australia, promptly hating her because she said sydney was like america
- lolling at super buff shirtless guys dancing upon a ledge
- feeling strange about people smoking indoors
- going to the beach to make zines and just getting sleepy and walking around a bit
- annoying jacob by not posing/smiling in pics
- walking down fancy part of palm beach, people smelling really nice (read: expensive) as you pass them
- impressive houses in palm beach
- sweaty feet
- making peanut butter cookies with regen at her impressive ass house and eating snacks by the pool
- sunday night poetry reading in boca feat. jacob, me, dave greenspan & gregory sherl. was p bemused by how drizzunk gregory sherl was. thought dave was a genuinely nice guy and swapped some hlm with him
- driving to miami, checking out 'design district' which turned out to be just a long street with a few interior design stores and cafes with valets, but having nice chill tizzimes on south beach watching ferries go out
- secretly letting jacob say 'mates' in a silly way
- getting sick on the last day, forgetting to eat key lime pie =(

london

- british airways having cushy ass seats, wondered to myself whether i had accidentally been put in business class
- always getting seated next to slags on planes
- gasping openly at shit going down in the midseason finale of gossip girl (watched via laptop)
- getting into heathrow at 6.30am, 1.30am ny time, having to spend 1.5 hrs on the tube getting to ellie's place on zero sleep
- spending sunday napping at ellie's
- watching hours of christmas cooking programmes with her nice flatmates
- going to westfield, inc first visit to topshop
- pretzel & smoothie samples
- feel bleak about london being expensive
- hanging out on brick lane with my cousin olly and his girlfriend
- noodles
- help ellie make truffles on tuesday for her christmas dinner with her mates
- expensive covent garden cupcake
- have beer in an establishment with crispin
- get more beers and walk around/across river with crispin
- visit m&m store
- at some point listen to a tim & eric song in the middle of the street to clarify lyrics of 'doo da doo doo'
- ask strangers for cigarettes
- crispin's impressive tesco antics
- ben lives >10 min away from ellie, take wine to his place
- nora the dog
- walking to the park to see if we can see meteors but it being too cloudy so just doing talking
- ~3 foxes in the park
- rolled down the hill a lil bit
- got tripped a few times by bennie, a bit muddy
- falling asleep watching 'i love you man'
- buying an egg & cress sandwich for the bus to somerset, vaguely considered being impressive about it

the met

egyptian art... so refined. my fave is the jewellery
1800s graffiti found via spencer madsen. feel astonished by how much of Egypt's history has been displaced

european art/medieval treasures
ornate italian dip/triptych
feel like i'm just looking at some rich people's stuff, but i do love a good tapestry
i should like a snuffbox, feels real 'gilded'

in contemp. american art some lady says 'i could do that'
feel angry b/c she doesn't understand 'flat colours'

chinese travel poems (asian art)
beautiful landscapes
'rivers & mountains without end'
funny that japanese & chinese artists were doing beautiful, simple & sparse paintings/drawings on long ass scrolls while in europe things became grotesquely gilded & such

[feel so weary / concentration lacking]

flute/oboe, also walking stick, made from narwhal tusk. wtf m8

european paintings... lol u guys, just chill out
yo it's the pearl earring gal

old ass swords, sharp lookin
idek what to look at

hometime - just thought 'tatts me out of here'