I am packing for Falls currently and my hands smell like vinegar from this tent waterproofer. I feel a bit faint and out of sorts because I'm tired.
being tired emphasises and often blows out of proportion a lot of emotions. sometimes I think that they're somehow more real, because you don't have the energy to sustain fronts that you usually do - possibly subconsciously - to protect yourself or others. but then again you can't just negate all the things you feel on a day to day basis just because you have to stifle or filter them for the public.
anyway maybe this doesn't make sense because when you're tired you also tend to ramble or exaggerate.
I think that we wrongly arrange ourselves around the big events at this end of the year. Indeed I think there's something wrong with the notion of this being an end. I wish I could draw you a picture to explain. Anyway if we lived in the northern hemisphere we'd be different because we'd organise our live around mid year summer. I suppose it's just a way to help us feel like we're moving forth, ascending in some sort of way. Like a "new year" can somehow bring about an indelible change in our personality. It's absolutely ridiculous. But we will most of us subscribe to this farce and pretend that auld lang syne will cleanse our habits from our systems.
I'm annoyed because I wish I could pretend there was a stark end between 2008 and 2009 - that my slate will be wiped clean for me. But it never is. and besides, I have more important things to worry about than when my moon will be in jupiter's house.
It is insane that you have written this because I thought something very similar in the car today. I was pretty much just thinking that a year doesn't exist, mainly due to the fact that time never ends, but it like a circle: it just keeps going and going and going. Every year I have a new yr's resolution, as though some how one extra day after the 365th day we will live be different
ReplyDelete