this is our 300th post and it is about boys

I have called this poem 'hey love'

there is no hole in my heart, only fear.
fear of how if i stop to think about being
on a planet called earth in a solar system in a galaxy -
fear of how much that really freaks me out
fear of how they look at me when i say so
i'm trying to conquer fear with knowledge but
those books you have to read to learn are good
to throw when you get scared.

hey love, i think you can help me.
i think about times i slept with him and
i think it helps me sleep better so
i replay it over and over but
i'm not in a film or a book or a song so
it's just weird of me.

i wonder what will stop me feeling it and
i do not know you so
sometimes i convince myself
that you can fix this.