btw

merry xmas from the shack

day in review xmas 2K11

woke up at 7.30am with a tummyache and realised i had a txt from steaky asking to skype early so i hid under the covers and did a sneaky convo with her. had a nice chat, felt a bit weird about it being the end of her xmas day though. went back to sleep and got up properly at 10.30/11. skyped my family. missed my lil sis a bit. my cousin made us a small portion of scrambled egg which we decided was a 'scrambled egg canape'. drank some prosecco. did presents about 12pm. i was happy cos i crocheted hats for miriam and steph (girlfriends of my cousins) and they both liked them. got a few bits and pieces. began helping make the christmas dinner, peeled carrots, parsnips and got the brussel sprouts ready. hung around watching telly and pencilling things into my 2012 diary. aladdin was on. singin in the rain was on. dinner was ready about 3.30pm. was tasty. ate a fair bit. had a break in between dinner and pudding where we just watched more christmas tv, i think. oh we all got really sleepy and i went upstairs to listen to 'blue christmas' by first aid kit and write sentimental things in my notebook. then it was puddin time. it was lit on fire cos it had brandy on it. kewl. basically dinner took about 6 hours. we had the pudding at 6pm then we watched more tv, more 'top gear' than i feel comfortable admitting. then we played a cool game that miriam knew which lasted for probably 2 hrs. then we had champagne jellies and cheese at probably about 9pm. theeeeen we watched the new ab fab episode which was really funny. watched a 'man lab' christmas episode where they were trying to make it snow. went to bed. couldn't sleep so went on facebook and had a chat to fraser. was nice to chat with dat guy. pretty good day, except for it felt like it lasted about a million days in one, i'd give it a 7/10

day in review 25/12/11

woke up at 7:15am and had a piece of pb toast and checked internet stuff. drove 20 minutes to get to work at the cattery where i met my cattery cohort. we both rubbed our eyes and made loud grunting sounds to indicate that talking was not a thing via tiredness. there were lots of cats in the cattery, maybe 25 or something and i mean it's a pretty good way to start my xmas morning because i really like cats. a cat called tilly scratched my hand, a cat called titus attacked my leg and left scratches on it and a cat [whose name i can't remember] bit me p. bad when i went to give her medication. lil shits. was in the cattery for about 3 hours, cranking solid gold fm all the while. drove to my parent's house to have a shower and get ready. mum was really stressed out about everything and me and dad were a bit scared to go near her. got to my sister's and she was real sick in bed, real bad b/c it is my niece's 1st xmas and she was really excited about it. i drank beer and played with the baby mostly and then we ate food which was a++. more family came and we ate more. got real real into dat pav. opened presents, got some money + underwear + socks + a field guide to nz birds which i geeked out on for the rest of the day. helped my bb niece, nova open all of her presents. my sister bought her a book called 'whose poos'. skyped my aunty and little cousin in sydney for a bit, drank more, called some friends, talked to family, played with baby, ate more food. then most of the family left and it was just me, my parents, my sister, her boyfriend and his dad. drank 'champas' and listened to some sweet beats until my mum was like 'what is this...' and put on steely dan. was going to see my friend off at the airport but she got the time wrong so i couldn't and then i felt sad but maybe okay because goodbyes are dumb anyway. got into a fight with my dad because he was drunk and being a dick. standard family gathering stuff really. ate more food and then went back to my parents. all up i drank 3 beers, 2 red wine and 2 champagne. welcome to xmas day family-related boredom drinking. skyped susie for a wee while and did internet things. didn't want to go out b/c i was tired and had work early the next morning so i just read my book (today and tomorrow by ofelia hunt) for about an hour and then went to sleep.

maybe 7/10 overall

my 2011 life via tweets/retweets (part 2)

august

chewing air waves chewing gum as a distraction from crippling loneliness

My Top 3 #lastfm Artists: Pavement (84), Sparklehorse (19) & A Tribe Called Quest (12)

sitting on my floor by the heater listening to Julie Doiron is how I always want to be

can the doctor who theme song be played at my funeral


september

just opened the TC article "How To Be Happy" and closed it 3 seconds later

"how you get all dat ass in dem jeans" is a thought I think almost every day re: nothing in particular

imagine if ricky martin was in coldplay

feel like my new sweater validates my existence

any social situation where it is okay to wear slippers

the world is scary, gonna eat a brownie


october

typed "reasons why i don't want to die" and below it typed "hummus"

RT @zacharywhalen: i'm worried about people who i don't like liking me

already had 4 cups of tea today, life is bloody nuts

ctrl f the words 'bloody' and 'mate' in my inner monologue

today i showed my work colleagues how to do a 'tim-tam slam'


november

dank ass emoshuns

i want to record the sound of rain and always be listening to that in my headphones

friday night action twitpic.com/7fowgx

RT @madisonlangston: sex and the city and beer forever


december

i don't understand why everyone doesn't wear backwards caps all the time

told a friend me and other friends were going to see 'how to dress well' and he earnestly asked if it was some kind of conference

too much socialising, need to spend all weekend alone in my room reading and watching gilmore girls

RT @spencermadsen: so much of being human is doing nothing

@feeeeeeel baby move your butt butt butt

life things

i think the reason i haven't been able to write a lot lately is because i feel too 'in' things/life, i am finding it hard to step out of my body and look at things i am experiencing

is it wrong to want detachment?

all i am doing is the things i am doing and other than that, trying to distract myself from the implications of these things

thinking about boys

the other day me and huna were in her car and she said something about not thinking anything at all at that particular moment and we paused and then both starting rapping to a biggie song

a lot of the time when i go to write something i just try to describe what it feels like to be in my body and how that relates to things in my head

i just watched grey gardens and i cried twice

i made a xmas card for my boss at bird rescue, it has a picture of a bird on the front, is that too obvious

there are a lot of things i need to do and none of them are particularly unpleasant but there are just a lot of things

i like cats the most out of all the things

read an interview with Haruki Murakami in the newpaper and he said "If I'm taking a walk and I see a cat, I'm happy." then i cut out the picture of his face that went with the article and stuck it on my wall

tonight i feel like there is a tiny animal inside of my chest

things are about to change i think

explosions in the sky: best gigs of 2011

going to go a series of 'best gigs of 2011', starting with a gig i went to last night

- more good/sweaty memories from the kings arms, they never check ID so i spent a lot of my underage ass time here
- at the bar asked for 'the cheapest red wine', cute bar guy seemed to 'get' it and not judge me, felt cheeky
- me and xinia discussed the lack of bar peanuts etc in new zealand, this is always in movies, how do we not have this
- the sweat factor was palpable, the heat, combined with the wafts of marijuana made the room unbelievably dank, it was just so dank..
- walls and walls of sounds comin' atcha
- i thought it was cool how they just went from one song into the other without really stopping/pausing for applause but it made people really confused about when to clap
- they have 3 guitarists, p. unbeatable
- spent time focusing on each member of the band individually to see what they were up2
- reached euphoric heights during 'birth and death of the day'
- sometimes just closed my eyes and let my body move how it wanted to
- they played for an hour and half but i felt unaware of time as a thing
- i wasn't aware of much else apart from when this guy stood next to me and kept looking at me, step off, trying to enjoy music here bro/also kept nearly tripping over this guy's bag which was down on the floor
- just really good musicians who know their shit, which is real good to watch
- really want to hear them play sitting down in a field somewhere
- managed to skillfully avoid all people i knew at the gig, seemed like a plus, sorry it just seems like an awkward place to run into people, when the music is really loud and you are trying to be like SO HOW HAVE YOU BEEN LATELY
- stopped in at the petrol station where some jock bro asked us if we had been to eits and said it was 'fucking sick aye'



btw, around the 5:25 mark is when euphoria happened

FL

(belated ass post, sorry jake)

- driving around town a lot, listening to various 90s rnb, but also rihanna and lmfao
- bucky the dog
- hot ass weather (coming from DC anyway), having to buy a new dress from h&m
- first wholefoods experience
- trivia on wednesday with jake's friends taylor (?), regen and her mum, failing at all the sports questions
- watching 3 twilight movies with jake's mum (2 on dvd, 1 at the movies)
- talking to jacob's family about australia
- stealing leftover halloween candy from near the front door
- watching country music channel
- listening to country music in the car with jake's mum
- jewish vibes
- watching macy's thanksgiving parade
- thanksgiving foods: sweet potato pie, green bean casserole and stuffing specifically. mmmmmm

- going out on thanksgiving night and talking to a girl who went to australia, promptly hating her because she said sydney was like america
- lolling at super buff shirtless guys dancing upon a ledge
- feeling strange about people smoking indoors
- going to the beach to make zines and just getting sleepy and walking around a bit
- annoying jacob by not posing/smiling in pics
- walking down fancy part of palm beach, people smelling really nice (read: expensive) as you pass them
- impressive houses in palm beach
- sweaty feet
- making peanut butter cookies with regen at her impressive ass house and eating snacks by the pool
- sunday night poetry reading in boca feat. jacob, me, dave greenspan & gregory sherl. was p bemused by how drizzunk gregory sherl was. thought dave was a genuinely nice guy and swapped some hlm with him
- driving to miami, checking out 'design district' which turned out to be just a long street with a few interior design stores and cafes with valets, but having nice chill tizzimes on south beach watching ferries go out
- secretly letting jacob say 'mates' in a silly way
- getting sick on the last day, forgetting to eat key lime pie =(

london

- british airways having cushy ass seats, wondered to myself whether i had accidentally been put in business class
- always getting seated next to slags on planes
- gasping openly at shit going down in the midseason finale of gossip girl (watched via laptop)
- getting into heathrow at 6.30am, 1.30am ny time, having to spend 1.5 hrs on the tube getting to ellie's place on zero sleep
- spending sunday napping at ellie's
- watching hours of christmas cooking programmes with her nice flatmates
- going to westfield, inc first visit to topshop
- pretzel & smoothie samples
- feel bleak about london being expensive
- hanging out on brick lane with my cousin olly and his girlfriend
- noodles
- help ellie make truffles on tuesday for her christmas dinner with her mates
- expensive covent garden cupcake
- have beer in an establishment with crispin
- get more beers and walk around/across river with crispin
- visit m&m store
- at some point listen to a tim & eric song in the middle of the street to clarify lyrics of 'doo da doo doo'
- ask strangers for cigarettes
- crispin's impressive tesco antics
- ben lives >10 min away from ellie, take wine to his place
- nora the dog
- walking to the park to see if we can see meteors but it being too cloudy so just doing talking
- ~3 foxes in the park
- rolled down the hill a lil bit
- got tripped a few times by bennie, a bit muddy
- falling asleep watching 'i love you man'
- buying an egg & cress sandwich for the bus to somerset, vaguely considered being impressive about it

the met

egyptian art... so refined. my fave is the jewellery
1800s graffiti found via spencer madsen. feel astonished by how much of Egypt's history has been displaced

european art/medieval treasures
ornate italian dip/triptych
feel like i'm just looking at some rich people's stuff, but i do love a good tapestry
i should like a snuffbox, feels real 'gilded'

in contemp. american art some lady says 'i could do that'
feel angry b/c she doesn't understand 'flat colours'

chinese travel poems (asian art)
beautiful landscapes
'rivers & mountains without end'
funny that japanese & chinese artists were doing beautiful, simple & sparse paintings/drawings on long ass scrolls while in europe things became grotesquely gilded & such

[feel so weary / concentration lacking]

flute/oboe, also walking stick, made from narwhal tusk. wtf m8

european paintings... lol u guys, just chill out
yo it's the pearl earring gal

old ass swords, sharp lookin
idek what to look at

hometime - just thought 'tatts me out of here'

brooklyn diary 7 & 8

day 7

this day i woke up, wrote postcards and readied myself to go to the Met. this was an intense decision. the Met is HUUUUUUGE. i knew i wouldn't be able to see it all and remain sane so i decided that there were things i wanted to go see specifically and i ended up walking through assorted exhibits because i couldn't find the things i was after. the trajectory was like this: egyptian art/artefacts, , european stuff (like knick knacks and interiors), contemporary art.. then i got to what i wanted to see: asian art , musical instruments, a detour through european paintings (frankly i got a bit lost in this part) and finally armour and weaponry. saaahhh cool.

then i went back to 3b maybe, i can't remember. yes. i did. i had a lie down and watched parks & rec. then i got cheap ass dumplings for dins. and then i went to meet up with brodie at the union pool. anton and his lil bro oliver came along with oliver's friend ainsley who was actually staying at 3b too!!!! we drank coopers and chatted about various things, then went to kellogg's diner to have late dinner. it was nice to hang out with aussies (and anton's boyfriend). farewells at the train station..

day 8

this was a boring ass day because i walked around looking for presents and a post office failing at both of these things. biggest success of the day was buying a cupcake from a place called 'butter lane' where they were playing jens lekman. and getting on my plane with little fuss.

now i am in england. yaaaaaayyyyyy.

a room of one's own

my room is an important place to me. it is where i feel the most comfortable, a place where i don't have to be anything other than what i am.























in this picture:
- tao lin art
- zine collection
- a picture from national geographic of a huge ass zen garden (one of my favourite things in my room)
- pic of a t-rex from a zine i bought in chch zine fest of found images
- a pikachu hat
- a polywhirl my friend recently gave me
- all of the makeup/beauty/hair products etc i own = 1x deoderant, 1x make up remover wipes, 1x mascara, 1x 'curl definition' anti frizz serum, 1x sunblock, 1x hair dye 'red passion', 1x hair brush
- various knick knacks inclu. swan that holds loose change/hair ties/bobby pins, knitted tram, bow tie
- daisy chain i made in chch and pressed in a book hung up on the wall
























old photo of hat wall, there are new hats now























my mail wall, makes me real happy to look at























'shelf' displaying various zines/chapbooks, made from a broken picture frame i found on the street and clear fishing wire to hold them against the wall. made this because i have a lot of books but i never get to see them in my bookshelf etc























the window next to my bed, i like to feel the morning sun























what i do on sunday nights: listen to comforting 90s music, write blogs, write bad poetry and eat horrible pasta

brooklyn diary 5 & 6

5

this was a funny old day, as m'colleague gemma used to say. woke up and it was raining and i didn't want to go anywhere at all but i went for a walk into cobble hill. had a conversation with a lady in by brooklyn, my first one in days. wanted to get coffee and make zine somewhere but couldn't find anywhere i enjoyed so i got the train like 2 stops to park slope and sat in kos kaffe for a couple hours. went to century 21 in bay ridge lol and bought a coat. felt like giving up on life. was super drained from doing nothing at all. had dumplings and a pork bun for dinner, this cost me all of $2.25 whaaat. the lady seemed perplexed when i told her i wanted to eat in the restaurant. came back to 3b and found this book called the 50 best places to find peace & quiet in new york. read that cover to cover and found things to do the next day. had a cuppa. had a conversation with the girl from texas who was staying in the dorm too. nice gal. she used "ya'll" in a singular sense which amused me. more talking. talking feels strange because most of the time i'm alone. but also in the dorm at the moment is a nice italian girl. so we talk about what things we have done each day.

later that evening spencer madsen called me. we arranged to hang out and walked through miserable weather to a pizza place first, then a cool ramshackle bookstore then had a drink at some bar i don't remember the name of and then we went to the brooklyn inn which was super cool. spencer is a nice chap. real good tizzimes. um then i came home and went to bread.

6


another weird day, as i did not feel like doing anything. but i decided i would trust the guide to finding peace & quiet and went to this place called 'poet house'. prior to going in, i had a sit by the hudson river in this nice park, writing some stuff. in poet house they have an extensive library of poetry anthologies, independent chapbooks, literary study books, general interest poetry, poet biographies.. so much goodness. there were heaps of couches and cushy chairs. when i entered the guy was like 'you gotta sign in, oh i like your ring' and i felt happy and he said there was an 'amazing exhibition about emily dickinson' and guess what, he wasn't lying, it was so cool. a bunch of letters she wrote. real things that she touched.. apparently emily d loved to press flowers, and in another book i learnt that there's only one 'authorised' photograph of her. so reclusive.. i read a book about poets/writers and their houses. nice work, poet house.

after this i was hungry and i didn't know what i should do for lunch so i dithered, looked in my guidebooks but they failed me so i just went to the wholefoods cafe as there happened to be one nearby. go wholefoods. i considered doing some other weird activities but ended up going uptown to central park to suss out strawberry fields, which is the john lennon memorial. when i got there, i saw a huge crowd and heard singing. turns out a whole bunch of people just congregate there and sing beatles songs there. i'm sure it happens daily. they are all huddled right on top of the mosaic that says 'imagine', which is slightly inconsiderate i think but i guess beatles fans probably appreciate it. lots of people were singing along with the people who had brought their guitars. it brought a true smile to my face but i couldn't stand it for long and left promptly. my other central park thing i wanted to see was the statue dedicated to alice in wonderland. people kept climbing onto the mushrooms of the statue to get cute pictures with her. i wandered back down to the subway and got a train to soho, where i wanted to check out another thing from my peace & quiet book, a walter de maria sculpture in a gallery in soho. the sculpture is called the broken kilometer, and is essentially hundreds of brass cylinders lying on the ground in this giant ass room, but it really takes you away from the bustly streets of soho. nice.

i went downtown to meet jacob steinberg at the world trade center memorial. we had made plans to do this when i stayed with him at thanksgiving. the site where the towers used to be has been made into this plaza with trees and two giant square fountains set into the ground. these are lined with names of people who died on september 11, corresponding to the appropriate tower - the fountains represent each tower. it was pretty striking at night, as in addition to the fountains being lit, they are building 3 new towers to surround this plaza and one of them is half built and is the brightest tower on the manhattan skyline. and everybody likes a good water feature. jacob and went to the holiday market at union square to have a look round then to wholefoods to grab some dinner. it was nice seeing him again, felt like i had a proper frand. we walked around some streets near nyu and then i came home.

2011 in tweets and retweets (part 1)

january

curly hair liberation

my life mainly consists of driving other people's cars, eating chips/dip and cats in general

RT @and_susan: "I'd like to show him my lower Manhattan" #satc

RT @tobiasbrockie: when people shorten january to "jan" it just makes me think of middle-aged women with short hair


feb

pasta for two for one

calling winz and singing the hold music when the guy answers #shamebro

RT @anikainpink: e-you and e-me.

oh man, crying so bad RT @CheeseontoastNZ: 6.18pm: PM Key confirms 65 dead

i just thought 'stir fry and laurie' #gchatconversations


march

RT @linguish: wanna wrap myself in the internet like an oversized hoodie

Uh! I'm a nice dude, with some nice dreams #dropitlikeitshot

actually had a dream where i was scrolling through my twitter feed

my job title is "Avian Rehabilitation Assistant" #legit

today my grandma said i should "play the field"

i just thought "what is this strange sensation on my legs" and then i was like "oh, i'm wearing pants"


april

not good at "irl"

@and_susan re: my new baby niece: "FRESH LIFE"

RT @holiecrap: hey guys get with the program this isn't ice hockey this is life

alarm went off at 6.45am and i immediately thought I H8 LIFE whilst trying to avoid pillow drool

a danger to society whenever i ride my bike


may:

let's just pretend i haven't spent the afternoon listening to phil collins songs on youtube

RT @crispinbest: drinkin some coffee-ass coffee

RT @and_susan let me come to a foreign country so i can go on the internet with you

"i wish we could do a friendship montage of us" - @and_susan

listen to nothing but 90s r&b

thought "wow, this person has exactly the same taste in music as me!" whilst looking at my own last fm profile


june

RT @and_susan ok i just spent the entire day on effing tinychat

open @sweningsings in browser

i cuddled a swan today #hehe

seems like everything is going to be okay when i have my hot water bottle

when i say i'm "writing poetry" i mean i'm sitting in silence, staring into space & barely typing for 45 mins


july

been listening to nothing but this mount eerie album for about a week

how am i a thing

live tweeting Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls with @sweningsings @and_susan http://twitpic.com/5v20li

RT @spencermadsen: livetweeting being alone in my room

considering the merits of waking susie up by playing "i wanna fuck you" by akon

JQ254 CHCH to AKL

got a window seat, never get a window seat because i always have to pee so i choose an aisle seat to be less annoying to other people

as we took off i watched the water droplets moving on the window and as we moved through the clouds i felt nice

below me the clouds are like mountains and i want to spread my arms as wide as they can go and jump out onto them yelling 'woo hooo' really obnoxiously

feel kind of ill as we are ascending and why aren't there any barf bags wth

imagining the plane falling out of the sky and me still calming reading 'selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee' by megan boyle

i like megan boyle, she seems funny and cheeky

they are serving shepherds pie it smells horrible

i can feel the sun

always regret drinking coffee before i get on a plane but i never ever learn

bloody hell i am actually in the sky, seems fucking crazy

sitting in the window seat makes me more aware that i am actually in a metal box in a sky but it makes me feel kind of good, like feeling really positive about nihilism or something

lil cloud city, where are the care bears

there are actual mountains below me omg why is the world so beautiful hot damn

i put my headphones on to listen to two sparklehorse songs, 'sea of teeth' and 'apple bed', the lyric at the end of apple bed is

'i will feel the sun

i will feel the sun

i will feel the sun coming down'

a guy sat in the empty seat next to me and ordered a can of pepsi, step off bro

bomb ass window seat

kind of just staring out the window thinking about death a lot, somehow not morbid

air hostesses must struggle to maintain their online presence

just went to the toilet and it smelled like noodles, in a good way idk

i always plug my ears after i press the flush button because it is loud and alarming

remember telling alice and jackson this and alice saying 'what if you flushed the toilet while you sat on it' and i said something like 'butt suction'

shame aisle seat suckas

pj harvey says 'i can be your fog'

looks like i am approaching mordor re: red/black ominous clouds

think the way they say 'mordor' in the lotr films is really funny

could not control my laughter while reading this line in megan boyle's book: 'when i think 'dave eggers' in my head it's in the same tone of voice jerry seinfeld uses to say 'hello newman'

definitely going to download the soundtracks to both the charlie's angel films when i get home

what part of new zealand is this, where am i, i feel concerned

oh we are in auckland now

i have never seen auckland from this angle, lookin' good babe

cool i didn't die

morocco

the other day i received 'morocco' a poetry chapbook by matthew savoca and kendra grant malone

i really liked it

i read it in my bed and then at the beach

i read some of it out loud to my friend xinia

i read the first two poems out loud in front of my computer

buy it here

brooklyn diary 4

woke up and dithered for a while. ate raisin bread pudding for breakfast. i like that pudding is a legit breakfast food at 3b. seriously their breakfasts are so great everybody has to stay here if they go to ny. i feel like it is affordable and pretty close to the cit too. wanted to purchase headphones before going on the train to astoria so went to bestbuy in the city and got sennheisers for $32.50!!  (this is more than half the price they are in australia.........wtf). did some other moseying around shops before getting train to astoria. feel like i'm nailin the subway by now thank god. got a slice of pizza for lunch on the way to museum of moving image. astoria seems nice, sorta quiet.

museum of moving image.. i lingered for so long reading everything about how tv technology works (just thinking of that scene from willy wonka the whole time tbh) and looking at old ass cameras and tv sets. all the cameras & tvs looked so beautiful made in wood. i enjoyed that. the museum had heaps of fun activities for kids, you could dub your own voice over scenes in movies and yea heaps of fun stuff. the chief reason i went was because they currently have an exhibition on about jim henson and the muppets. i would have liked to see more actual muppets but i learnt a bit more about jim henson as a guy, turns out he made a few experimental/progressive films in the late 60s (well who didn't) but they showed some clips from a few of them and they were pretty funny. the muppet sense of humour and all that. he also made silkscreen posters and did other printmaking when he was in college. really dug it. then downstairs they had stuff about 'behind the scenes' and there was makeup used in the film 'sex and the city 2' which made me laff. there was also mrs doubtfire's masks, bodysuit and a costume she wore. also costumes from chicago. then there was lots of merch. historic merch from like 1914. crazy. then there were videogames. i played a few levels of sonic. the entrance to the museum, btw, is this really amazing white. the stairs were so white. stunning white. so great. this museum is highly recommended. only $9 if you're a student, but a must for media/comms students i feel. just walked around it thinking 'god i love tv/movies'. left and popped into salvos near the subway before heading back into town.

got a burrito for dinner and chilled for a bit. chatting to new arrivals in my dorm. considered going to a poetry thing in the evening but decided to go to an entertaining lecture thingy about the russian revolution in williamsburg. this was a good idea. it was v funny and reminded me of things i had studied a while back. the final person who spoke talked about the development of the cyrillic alphabet. he knew a lot about language and was pretty funny, but didn't try too hard to be funny. i felt good that i was learning and having a good time. left feeling real stimulated, still pretty on point.

brooklyn diary 3

woke up and GUESS WHAT I'M TIRED!!! ate more tasty breakfast (frittata and apple crumble) and thought maybe i would go back to sleep but decided to battle on and get up and start my day. figured i would go to moma because it's one of the only things open on a monday (most other galleries/museum in ny close on monday just fyi errybody). got the subway to manhattan and felt good about being back in the city. omg australians/melbournians: they are building a pieface on 7th ave just up from times square.. walked past where they film letterman. arrived at moma. free coat check. coat check was intense, rows and rows of coathangers with numbers. key in a number on the machine and then your stuff comes back to you. never seen that before yo. and the art was even more mindblowing.. (see unedited moma notes post) just had such a great time. so many people there on a regular day, couldn't imagine what their free fridays are like. started to get hungry and lethargic and didn't want to spend big $$ on food at moma cafes. left feeling supremely good about life.

decided to walk down 5th. went into st patrick's cathedral to have a sit down as i was v tired from walking around moma for 4 hrs. had a sit and wrote a lil thing in my notebook. felt pensive in the church. it was warm and hushed. people should go in churches more b/c nobody questions what you are doing plus it's pretty kewl architecture and nice lighting. left just as a service was starting lol. stopped at rockefeller centre because there was some big ole projection on a building opposite, i don't remember what it was, probably some department store. it was cool anyway. there was this one bit where the projection matched the windows but then the windows fell away and the crowed went oohhhhh!! the christmas tree in rockefeller plaza was lit up and people were skating below it, and the top of the ge building was covered in clouds. felt christmassy for the first time and generally happy. kept grinning at everything.

went in some stores. saw a really nice jacket in esprit. really wanted to purchase it, but this could be because i experienced the first genuinely good customer service in nyc. taken us 4 weeks to get there!! but also it was an awesome jacket. got the L train to williamsburg with the intent of having awesome meatballs on bedford ave for dinner but figured i should try different food so i went to dumont burger and had a chickpea burger and an irish hot toddy. came back to 3b and did some reading, went to bed. wooooooooo

moma notes

the dream & sleeping gypsy - rousseau (studied the dream)
starry night - van gogh (all van gogh quite beautiful)
georges braque
cezanne (so dreamy, so nice)
matisse
demimoiselles & three musicians (& analytic cubism.. omg)
mondrian
states of mind - boccioni
duchamp lol

kurt schwitter

chagall
4 panels - kandinsky

feel i may weep in front of a monet

russian supermatism
the bauhaus?

really did not anticipate getting this much joy from moma
mondrian...
persistence of memory - dali (aka melting clock painting, totes really tiny)

want to go eat my banana in the bathroom
lawrence weiner, removal exposing wall, reminiscent of art at dear patti smith

lichtenstein
warhol
i still use brushes - aman
'assemblages'

no 10 - rothko
bacon
one: 31 - pollock

beaming when i recognise a painting, full on grinning at art

hanna wilke
literary paintings - marcel broodthaers (conceptual belgians)

i got up at... - on kawara (postcard series)

--

what happened to design in this country? feels like it just stopped =\
love seeing early german/austrian design esp utensils/glasses - can see where today's design comes from

--

andré breton
sol lewitt drawings
eva hesse =)

lol.. wtf is fluxus

more gross stuff than usual happened to me today

- got garbage juice on my leg whilst taking out the rubbish

- there was a cockroach crawling on my arm while i was at bird rescue, felt like things were crawling over my skin for ages afterwards

- held a duck whilst my boss picked a thick layer of crusty dead skin off the duck's head and when she peeled it off you could see a bit of the duck's skull, real real brutal (but it heals better that way) (also only objectively gross, i get used to seeing stuff like this)

- at the cattery there was a weta that one of the cats had bitten the back off of and when i went to put it in the bin it was bloody alive, felt like a comedy of errors trying to pick it up and put it outside

- pickles the cat was sitting on my windowsill looking at something for ages and then i saw him jump out the window and gobble up a mouse! was more proud than grossed out

- came home and hannah had something in the oven which smelled nice so i put it in my mouth but it was not good at all and made me want to vomit (sometimes she makes weird austrian food)

- generally saw more gross bugs and spiders than i usually see idk

brooklyn diary 2

allowed myself a sleep in, ate delicious breakfast of baked eggs and bread pudding (3b... dmw) then got a bus to williamsburg to check out the waterfront flea market. it turned out they move the market under cover during the cold months, to somewhere in fort greene. which is funny cos it's closer to me. anyway it was fine cos i wanted to go to some galleries and hang around w'burg anyway. sat by the waterfront for a while and enjoyed city views across the east river. found myself writing things in my notebook next to some girl who was drawing/writing in a notebook. hope she wasn't weirded out by this. was a super nice day to just walk around the pier etc. wandered back to the streets with a vague intention of hitting up the other beacon's closet location. needed to pee and felt alarmed because usually when we were together, and caz, emma or i needed to pee, we would just hit up a starbucks. i felt like my chances of finding starbucks in williamsburg were rather slim, though i did come across an american apparel. took a chance and went into some gallery and accidentally missed the turn to the exhibition space, ended up going upstairs where there were obviously studios and found a toilet. had to pee in the dark b/c the light wasn't working but overall a successful mission. had late lunch at cubana social. ate at the bar and read my book which is the newest obernewtyn book (will only have relevance for australians) and the cover looks like some dumbass fantasy novel. not that it's not fantasy, but i probably should have stopped reading the series by now. but i need to know what happens in the end! felt amused by eating alone at a place called 'cubana social'. beacon's closet in williamsburg is better.. bought a leather handbag of some brand. went into some 'vintage' stores, general nice stores. really got the williamsburg vibe this time as opposed to last time when i thought it was just a bit bleargh. got the bus back downtown.

had a lie down. felt pretty strange when i awoke. i was hungry and i got a cupcake from robicelli's at dekalb market and i didn't like it as much as i hoped i would because the 'frosting' was too synthetic. walked to BAM to see 'the descendants' which is a film that made my friend caz cry. it was a really good movie and george clooney is still looking mighty fine. if you need to go to the cinemaaahh then this is what you should see because it is both funny and moving. afterwards i got a piece of pizza from a place called 'not ray's pizza'. i walked back into downtown and got a burrito for real dinner and ate it back at 3B. then i read. obernewtyn is getting good. i tried to sleep but there were people in the common room thing watching snl and playing music very late into the night, i don't know what time, and i was too hot in bed so i couldn't sleep and i became anxious that i was going to be tired.

brooklyn diary 1

got up and ate breakfast silently alongside couple from DC and mum & daughter team. felt like i should have made conversation with them but was pretty sleepy so failed at this. decided not to go back to bed despite sleepiness. went to the mall at atlantic ave to look for an ipod cord and some headphones in bestbuy. didn't buy any. walked towards beacon's closet in park slope. bought shoes. checked out various shops in park slope all morning, felt like it was akin to northcote via there being lots of hip looking couples with children. bought 'vintage' looking postcards. had soy latte + banana muffin in some coffee shop then decided to walk towards prospect park. felt happy cos there was some sort of market on at the grand army plaza. felt amused by grandeur of the monuments on the arch. sat in prospect park watching and wrote a letter. it was pretty sunny. kids were playing. i was amused by them. grew cold and went into the brooklyn public library, which is an equally 'impressive' building. looked up some books about jean rhys that i have considered purchasing. read introductions to a few of her books. best one was a collection of letters she wrote. decided to walk back to where i'm staying before it got dark and before i decided to buy things.

had about half an hour back at my place chatting to stacey then went to get dinner at dekalb market. thoroughly enjoyed viewing  various stores in shipping containers, but didn't actually enter  any because they were intimate looking and i was too hungry to pretend i wanted to buy handmade stuff. had some filipino chicken on rice for dinner. got excited because i noticed robicelli's cupcakes have a store there. considered getting cupcakes but instead got mini donuts. went to macy's to see if they had apple stuff because for some reason i really don't want to buy an ipod cord that is not apple (oddly enough don't feel too annoyed with myself for brand loyalty) and seriously considered buying a handbag for ~$70.

came back to b3 and skyped fraser and looked for things to do. decided to go to the brooklyn museum to their late night opening. people were dressed in 20s clothing via the current exhibition, american art of the 20s. there was a big band (not size, like the style yo) playing in a big ole hall. the brooklyn museum had a really varied collection. there was egyptian and 'near east' art. i only looked at the near east stuff (which is like persia and turkey etc) because egyptian stuff weirds me out plus i have seen a lot in my time. then i saw some feminist artwork, stuff by eva hesse and then this giant installation called 'dinner party' by judy chicago which was really impressive and i learnt about different feminist/women who were progressive before feminism was a thing. i kept thinking that my friend gordon would really like it. also that it seemed like a really good date night. i looked at some contemporary american artwork and looked down at the people dancing on the lower level. people were having fun and the band was really good, i was filled with joy. then i went to look at these recreations of early american architecture which became pretty freaky. empty old rooms, totally weird. impressive, but weird. from there i went into this exhibition called 'hide/seek' which was about the way identity and sexuality have been represented in american portraiture. there were a lot of portraits of authors and poets, like frank o'hara, allen ginsberg, gertrude stein, susan sontag and some more. they also had a bunch of those andy warhol screen test films. there were lots of brooklyn-y looking people at the museum and then interspersed with hipsters were people in 20s getup. nice juxtaposition. i grew tired after my day of walking and decided to go home. smoked a cig then got the subway home. watched 2 episodes of snl because i felt sad that it was on and i wasn't able to stream/watch it.

christchurch things

- \mn/ (hang loose)
- singalongs to solid gold fm in alice's car
- led zep
- surf rock
- pulled a hammy dancing to piha rescue
- zine fest rad cool times
- first swim in the ocean
- more bogans than i have ever seen in my life
- log cab livin'
- book fridge (fridge on side of road filled with books you can take, i took 'the ultimate sandwich book: over 700 delicious sandwich creations')
- corduroy
- backwards caps
- corduroy backward caps (!!)
- nice people
- did a poetry reading
- mostly ate bananas
- gin and ginger beer
- salty hair
- synchronized naps
- feeling real real emotional seeing 'the red zone' (seemed weird that it felt like a tourist attraction)
- picnic in the botanical gardens
- pretzels and peanut butter
- getting excited about seeing different types of ducks
- goat puns
- went on a 'zed' binge after seeing the drummer at a cafe
- did a ustream, rocked out to some club bangers
- hot chips on the lawn
- sweet friendship

travel poem #1

my head rests on different surfaces
hitting strange pillows
but full of the same things at the end of each day

Christchurch

Tomorrow I am flying to Christchurch

I'll be there until 5th December

Going to do all these things plus I have a stall at the zinefest. I will be selling this zine that I just finished plus all my others.

Get @ me Cantabrians.

:))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

83

i feel translucent

carved out like the inside of a pumpkin

propped up by pillows

i cannot feel anything else

in my headphones

i am listening to the sound of rain

wanting to slide so far down into my bed

that i can no longer see any light

later, in a city street

resting wearisome limbs over wearisome limbs

we speak of things

with breaths shallow and urgent

words like water that wanted to return

to oceans, rivers, lakes

our bodies together

defined by the negative spaces

i say that

touching you is like putting your hand through smoke

creating waves upon waves of echos

then

something about

skin deflated

the tree above us sheds its leaves

we feel them on our jackets like tiny pins

there are palms pressing upwards into spines

whispering into your neck

"there are some things that i will keep forever"

later, the sensation of needles

DC

Washington, DC is the capital city of the USA. It is a very clean and impressive city with lots of greek inspired buildings. On Friday morning I went to Capitol Hill which is that round building with a statue on top. A rude man greeted us at the door and I had to throw out my water bottle even though I emptied it. We went on a free tour of the building with this strange, jaded man from Florida. There were lots of statutes of people who were important to the development of the country, like former presidents or generals or benefactors. The round dome, which you can actually see pretty much everywhere in the city, has a mural in the top of it. It's a really big painting. The whole thing was very spectacular. After our tour we went into the senate and also the house of representatives. There was more happening in the house so we stayed there for a little while and listened to some reps talking. They did a variety of speeches. One man introduced his speech with a passage from the bible which bemused me and Caroline. In both the senate and the house of reps, above the presiding senator (or whatever) it is written 'In God we trust', which made me feel a little ill. That night we went to a reading of people from Caro's MFA program. The reading was good and afterwards Shaun Gannon, DJ Berndt and Will Bechtold arrived. Jess Dutschmann, Michael Michael Motorpsychle and Jae Dyche were also at the reading, among others. There was a dance party upstairs and we had a bit of a dance and chatted and got to know everyone.

On Saturday Caroline (Caz) and I woke up early to go on a walking tour of the National Mall. This is where a lot of the various war memorials are. The guy who took the tour was called Tim and he said he used to be a guidance counsellor. We walked behind the White House and then towards the Washington Monument, learning lots of things about various presidents as we went. One thing that I started to pick up on was the pride that people have about this country. When we were at the WWII memorial there were some veterans from that war there and our guide was really reverent and kept talking about how amazing people who served in wars were. This intrigued me. All of the war memorials were giant and impressive. We spent a lot of time learning about how the Vietnam war memorial was made. There was a national competition to design a memorial for it. The design was chosen anonymously and turns out it was designed by a Chinese-American architecture student which is amusing because of the whole 'Americans hate Communists' thing. We got to go to the Lincoln memorial which is the big statue of Lincoln sitting down in like this tomb situation. The weirdest memorial was the Korean war memorial which was 19 statues of different ranked military peoples next to a reflective granite wall with laser etched faces of people affected by the war. This wall seemed odd, like it would date badly. There were wreaths at this memorial. Apparently the Korean ambassador puts a new one down every week to thank the American people for their sacrifice. We headed back to Caro's place to get ready for the ustream that night. By get ready I mean we watched a lot of shows on A&E, which apparently used to stand for Arts & Entertainment but now they just show Hoarders, 'I work in the sex industry' and other things of that ilk. We were having a good time being incredulous about the people involved in the show, but on the whole most of us felt rather lethargic and not ready to be interesting for our internet public.

For me, it was the most proper ustream I have done. It was my third one so far and it was the largest. There were about 10 people reading and I didn't know everybody's work so it was interesting to hear things. Beach Sloth wrote a really good rundown of proceedings. Highlights for me were when Megan Boyle rapped 'gettin jiggy with it' and the second piece Shaun Gannon read. I felt nervous when I read the first time but the second time when I read Stacey's dinosaur poems I felt happy and connected to her and people in the room because it was received well. We finished the reading by playing 'My Love' by Justin Timberlake who is a gorgeous man and a wonderful dancer. Then we got changed and went out to a bar. DJ tried to do an Australian accent and it sounded more like an English accent. I did an American accent and impressed everyone with how authentic it sounded. In hindsight it seems really silly. We did some dancing and it was pretty fun. My favourite part was when they played a Smiths song. DJ and Shaun are really good dancers too. We went home and ordered a pizza and ate it ravenously then went to sleep. The next day we were going to try to go to a museum.. there are lots to choose from in Washington, probably close to 10 Smithsonians on offer. We chose the Air and Space museum. We were all really hungover/tired and felt horrible walking around trying to be interested in the development of air and space programs in this country. That evening we watched two movies that I had never seen before: Twilight and Wedding Crashers. Twilight was really horrible and bad but now I want to watch the other films.

Carolyn DeCarlo is an angel of a human being and was so sweet having me and Caz stay with her. I had a really good time with her and other internet lit people. I wish that I could see them more because they were all super nice and entertaining. I also enjoyed being out of a big city and walking down quiet streets in DC, felt chill. I actually learnt a lot more that I cannot recall off the top of my head. I am also building up this picture of America and like their 'national identity' in my mind via different experiences of the country. Now I am in Florida with Jacob Steinberg for a week which will encompass Thanksgiving, which I have never had before because it is an American holiday. HOW EXCITING. I think I will learn more while I am here.

the upper east side & then some

our host was this lady named michelle. michelle has a small, grey, fluffy dog called 'pee-wee'. this is an apt name because he often peed/did small poos on the floor. a lot of people on the upper east side have dogs but they all live in apartments so you see them on the street a lot. people take their dogs for walks in their pyjama pants which i thought was nice given that it was the posh upper east side. it is weird that so many people treat their dogs in this way, taking them outside only a few times a day, and not everybody has small dogs like michelle. and even still, it is weird keeping dogs cooped indoors all day. apartments in new york are usually pretty warm because of pipes that go throughout the whole building, so air isn't fresh and all the smells stay in unless you open windows. 

monday was spent mostly in the american museum of natural history. it was a really cool place that most people might recognise from 'night at the museum'. it was really cool and huuuge and you gotta allow a whole day to experience it. there are some disturbing things about it like the fact that a lot of the animals in cases are taxidermy. weird. it was a good experience though. our feet hurt a lot by the end of the day. 

we started buying breakfast from a nice bagel shop on 86th. i had jelly and cream cheese on mine which was pretty delish one day and my first experience of calling jam 'jelly'. tuesday was an unexpectedly legit day. we went on a tour of the UN and learnt about its role in international relations. i think we all felt a bit empowered by possibilities afterwards. our tour guide was peruvian. i want to roll my Rs like he does. lunch we used my zine guide of nyc to take us to this japanese place called menchanko tei and it was just what we needed, filling but not grossly and felt good for us as opposed to all the mexican and pizza we'd been eating. that evening i went to long island city to catch up with my cousin and go to a free comedy show. i felt like i mastered the subway. the show itself was pretty good. we had some beers then went to flux factory where they were having a birthday party for somebody. sam only wanted to stay for one beer but we ended up having some shots of rum and dancing around the kitchen. there was this one guy dancing really awesome and he had a beard and i asked sam if he was married because that's how i enquire about people's marital status. he was very tall and dancing in short fluoro green shorts and a salmon pink polo tee. that is not why he was attractive though. idk. he was ridiculous and uninhibited, i think that was attractive. i had not eaten dinner so i ate 2 donuts that were on the table. they were really delicious, cinnamonny things mm. we kept trying to leave but having conversations with people instead. i talked to a nice girl from canada and told some of the flux artists who i saw speaking last week that i liked their artwork. 'this charming man' by the smiths played and we got excited about english music being played then i said it was definitely our last dance and then we walked to the subway. i met the girls in the city and got pizza on the way back to our apartment. i was a bit drunk and kept exclaiming about how crunchy the pizza was. 

we had a big sleep in yesterday and woke up around 12pm and went to katz's deli for brunch. we ordered a pastrami sandwich, philly cheesesteak and cheese blintzes to share. it was all pretty good, but the pastrami was the best. katz's is overpriced. it wasn't too busy. it was raining a lot and i didn't have a raincoat or an umbrella so my jacket got quite damp. we split up after brunch (which was in reality a v late lunch) and i walked to a nearby salvation army thrift store. they had no fitting rooms so i could not try anything on. i walked back into soho to check out a wool shop, stopping in other pretty stores on the way. i walked past some nice looking galleries on west broadway. i like a lot of things about soho but i felt as if i looked too much like a drowned rat to go into many stores. the wool shop was a dream and is actually the store of a blog i read sometimes, the purl bee. emma came into the store while i was there, purely by coincidence. i thought she had already been there that day. we bought some wool and then went to meet caroline at mcnally jackson bookstore. we had a sit there for a while as our feet were very sore plus we were cold and wet. then went to hampton chutney co for dinner. we all had dosas which looks like a giant pancake with fillings of indian varieties. very tasty and filling. 

we went home to get gussied up to go to a zine launch that brodie told us about. there was a long line at the zine launch and we smoked cigarettes to have something to do in the line. we saw tao lin walk to the front of the line and get right into the store. we played a game that i know called 'end of the world' which is where you look around you and work out who you would sex if the world was going to end in five mins. we made it inside and drank syrupy red wine. brodie and anton were leaving as we arrived. it was nice to see them, however briefly. inside we bought a copy of the zine and stared at tao lin a bit and spotted ryan o'connell who writes for thought catalog. occasionally i overheard people saying '....tao lin' it was funny/weird. we went for a drink at a bar called botannica. the girls were drinking spirits so they got a bit drunk. my drink in nyc was 'brooklyn lager'. i felt weird in botannica. i suggested we leave to get second dinner or go to another bar. we went to a bar i had noticed after the sunday night comedy. it was called 'the scratcher'. lots of the people from the zine launch were there. there were more good looking people there than at the other bar and we played 'end of the world' again. we decided to go outside smoke the last cigarette that caroline had and also talk to emma's end of the world boy. instead, we struck up a conversation with his friend, jackson. jackson said he worked for the third best art auction house in new york. i was interested in this. he was from tennessee. we got a taxi uptown. caroline and emma called their friend laura who is doing student exchange in arizona. we ate the same pizza that i had eaten the previous evening. again, it was really good. we each had two slices. 

i woke up around 6am this morning and felt awake enough to do some emailing and other internet items. we had to leave the apartment to pick up tickets to our bus at 9am. caroline woke up, we said goodbye to sleepy emma and we were organised enough to get to port authority by 8.30. it was too early and we were bored and tired. it was cold today so everything was misty and looked grim out the bus window. we talked about how things seemed rundown as we were driving out of nyc. the bus journey took 4 hours. it was cool seeing more parts of america. as we drove through baltimore i kept thinking of that song from hairspray. we got to DC and carolyn decarlo picked us up and took us to her place. she lives in a really cool flat. she is an easygoing and nice girl, i think we will have fun staying here. she surprised me by saying that a lot of nice int lit people are coming over to her place on saturday night for a ustream. i got really excited and caroline said 'what's a ustream?'. we walked to get some food and coffee at a cafe near caro's house. caroline and i were both very excited to be out of nyc, which is a cool place, but its bustle became tiring after 10+ days of being there. it's nice to see sky and for there to be trees and less people. 

so we are staying in dc for a little while now, going to do some touristy stuff but also have some chill time and hang with nice lit people. i think it will be good. i am hungry now.

spencer madsen style blog post about my day

went to:

• westgate aa
• parent's house
• sister's house
• home
• titirangi yoga centre

people i saw:

• dad
• kristy
• nova
• hannah
• xinia
• various other strangers

people i talked to on the internet:

• james
• sam

people i talked to on the phone:

• mum

read:

• some of norwegian wood by haruki murakami
• animals by janey smith - a chapbook i ordered from plain wrap press, an excerpt:

"from above, on your small bed, the spread out limbs of the full-grown blue-white polar bear seem to make the polar bear look like a snowy white star - the star bounces ever-so-gently around the walls of your tiny universe."

• groove guide - only read this because sam wrote a feature article about the beach boys, laughed about a reference he made to their cameo on 'home improvement'

• bbq by victoria durnak - a zine sent to me from sweden, contains lil poems such as this one:

pain performance

my bleeding heels turned away from you
as I rip off my blister band-aids in Central Park
but you already know my morning breath
that I sometimes throw up while walking and
that I smell like curry paste
on sunny days

• 'even the oceans' by sheridan mills - a zine feat. excerpts from chat logs, emails, streams of consciousness and things overheard etc, i found it kind of endearing, excerpt:

"i think tomatoes look sweet
i wanna kiss em"

• 'tender lines/tender loins' by leonie v. brialey - prob my favourite zine that i read, comics about various romantic exploits, laughed 3x times, laughed the hardest at a drawing of herself motioning to her crotch with a speech bubble saying 'hey boy, just get on this! it's hell good!"

watched:

• the simpsons (the 'sweet sweet can' ep)
• s1 e5 & 6 community

ate:

• a banana
• chicken croissant
• cheese corn chips
• cheese roll w/ butter
• whittakers creamy milk chocolate x4 pieces
• falefal burger

drank:

• water, maybe 2x bottles idk
• 1x tea
• 1x beer

wrote:

• finished a poem called '82'

listened to:

• wtf podcast w/ bryan cranston
• itunes spring playlist
• yuck

notable:

• sat my full driving licence test and passed
• booked my flights to christchurch
• got a message from susie saying she saw tao lin in nyc
• whilst reading outside i saw a mumma duck and her ducklings in the front yard eating some grass and it made me feel happy
• pulled a 'hammy' during yoga (jk i just like saying 'pulled a hammy' when i've been exerting myself physically)
• during the relaxation part of yoga i felt like my body was melting into the floor
• hannah called me 'wifey' after i made her dinner

probably going to read until i pass out

spencer's blog

new lynn bus station

seeing people carrying around 1.5 L soft drink bottles in public

woman just got up and started 'shimmying' right in front of me, occasionally swearing loudly, it's 11.42am on a wednesday

she just yelled 'don't be jealous', and 'boy i can shake aye'

internal monologue: HOW IS THIS HAPPENING

interested in how each of the 7 individuals in this bus stop are ignoring this woman in their own unique way

my way is to pretend to be deeply engrossed in whatever i am typing into my computer by squinting my eyes slightly and occasionally mouthing words

she might have started singing 'golden years' by david bowie but probably not

she is currently in v. close proximity to me

internal monologue: please get away from me crazy dancing lady

homeless man making really succinct yelping noises at passers-by and making people feel extremely uncomfortable including me, even with headphones on

'smack that' by akon just came on my ipod

life is bloody hilarious

nyc notes

times square

feel like there are so many strange (+ terrifying sometimes) people in the world. the feeling of being in somebody else's holiday pictures makes me feel weird. mostly fine but still not fine. not sure. do people even look at their holiday stuff again? ny seems pretty much as i expected.. or something, as i imagined it to be maybe. or seems to be as it should

g train

semi terrified of getting lost on the subway as per what happened when i was younger (note, i got lost on the tube in london). wondering occasionally whether me + [romantic interest] will do marriage. think i could. but i am v young. the announcements on trains here are still humans... i feel comforted by this + at least on this train i can hear them. feel a scary thing about this country is that anybody could be carrying a gun. hm. going to listen to the whitest music i can: coldplay

staten island ferry

feels like it would be an ok thing to do to be a parent, interesting to show them how to be a normal human + manners etc. i will need to have a partner with really good maners i think b/c mine are poor. love seeing how men get fatherly. for some reason this is immensely endearing and pretty attractive.

hunter college subway

'the network effect'. people seem to be combinations of more things here. like obviously there are just more people, ergo more cultures. in australia those things are very new so it's unlikely one would be a mix of more than one nationality.

museum of natural history

just really miss the boys, specific boys. sometimes feel pain because i am missing out on so much love. but museums + the planetarium will have their special effect on me, make me remember how small i am, how nothing. i guess i am someone to some people.. but the world is too huge.. overwhelmed by how much there is to know.

A thing

My friend Sam is making a publication that you should submit to.

"The first issue is about Collections. If you have something you currently collect, used to collect, or really want to collect, we would like to hear about it. More specifically, I want to know about your personal relationship to that past, present or future collection. There's no word limit and no collection is too large, small, weird or downright pornographic to be considered.

The first issue will be going live early next year and submissions are due at the end of January.

If you'd like more information about the project, email samwieck@gmail.com and put your favourite David Bowie song in the subject line. Feel free to pass this along to anyone who might be interested."

horribly almost daily recount of nyc so far

seems really hard to write enough about my trip so far & only like it will get more difficult

first night i arrived my friends were staying in soho. my face lit up when i saw the city skyline for the first time & getting the cab down prince street i just felt so happy... i was jetlagged and slept while my friends went to broadway. they got back at 2.30am and i was hungry so we went to get pizza. felt overjoyed that this was a possibility. was awesome because the pizza place we went to was playing really cool music like black keys and radiohead, then all of a sudden they played 'in my place' by coldplay which is one of my faves of theirs.

the next day we got a cab to our place in bed-stuy, which apart from being in a pretty rough area (for three white chicks), is amaaayzing and much bigger than the soho flat. we went for a wander around on our first day, caroline got a haircut in williamsburg, then we bought some groceries and made dinner in our place, watched some tv. wednesday we tried to actively go to places in brooklyn but we ended up doing a  more thorough walk down bedford ave in w'burg which was quite enjoyable as it was a fine day. just fiiine. we had lunch at this really cute cafe called egg. i had a chorizo and egg sandwich, while the other girls had pulled pork sandwiches. we have been eating quite well and cheap, i must say. food is pretty cheap, even with tipping, which i am gradually getting used to. that evening we met up with my cousin sam in the city and went to this art opening in noho. there was free champagne. the artwork was really cool, a mix of sort of nostalgia & design. by this i mean there were really well crafted bows & arrows & necklaces & games. we had pizza for dinner at lombardi's.

on thursday we went into the city and did shopping. i bought an american apparel hoodie because i have always wanted one, but in australia they are nearly double the price they are here. we went to urban outfitters. i spent half an hour in a changing room line. that evening i went to have dinner with my cousin at flux factory. once a month on thursdays the 15+ artists associated flux invite their friends/family to come have a potluck dinner and some drinks, then hang around afterwards to hear some of the artists talk about what they're up to. i found this part very interesting. there was a danish guy who had sculpted this log and other wood into a working sculpture with which to make fried egg. a polish guy was making a zine about homosexuality in eastern europe and also researching a documentary about the polish artist natalia ll. it was a very nice thing to do. i got the train back to brooklyn with my cousin's friend meg and then a taxi back to bed-stuy.

friday we did more shopping. you can do a lot of shopping in this city. in the evening we hung out with some friends from melbourne, brodie and anton. they are really sweet and it was nice to see them, catching up about uni things and talking trash about the differences between americans and australians. most people are really nice, but sometimes it's just manners and not very sincere. other times it's sincere. like in brooklyn when we asked people where to go they were always friendly. and when i was trying to get to flux i clearly had no idea what i was doing and these policemen were like "where are you trying to go, miss?". anyway the bar we met brodie & anton at had like a foot of sand on the ground. they instructed us to go up to the manhattan inn. we went into a few lame bars on the way but finally arrived at the manhattan inn which was super cool and what we had hoped williamsburg would be all about. we walked back down bedford ave after a bit of a dance in search of food. emma was pretending that her scarf was an invisibility cloak. we had a lie down on a basketball court halfway back. then we went to this really awesome place called the meatball shop which was so fucking tasty, i think my fave thing i've eaten so far. i really like that you can walk around at 2.30 in the morning and proper restaurants are still open and serving food. when we got back to our apartment the other girls skyped their friend laura in arizona but i had to sleep so i hit the ole hay.

we woke up feeling totally sleep deprived on saturday and struggled to pack up all our stuff for our move to the upper east side. we managed to pull ourselves together and clean up the place. we left our luggage with the nice lady who owned our apartment and went to the brooklyn flea market. this was an enjoyable and easy thing to do when you feel very tired, plus we couldn't check into our new place until later that day. at the market i had some nice food, looked at nice vintage clothes and pretty design things. i bought my mum a tea towel that has brooklyn written on it. our cab driver to manhattan was really nice. he seemed like a friendly family man and pointed out interesting things in brooklyn as we drove through it. everything looks so pretty at the moment because it is fall and the leaves are changing colour.. it's lovely. and it hasn't been too cold which has made for some nice walks around brooklyn & manhattan. after we arrived at our new place we left our bags and went to central park. this was my first time seeing the park and omg it was so kewl. there were a lot of fancy dogs on the walk there, which is inconvenient because my general reaction when i see dogs is like "aww puppy" or "aww doggie" (via stacey) but i can't do this now because it happens too frequently. but it's cute because you see people walking dogs in pyjamas - they obviously live in the apartments really close by and need to take their dog out a couple of times a day. after our little stroll we came back, rugged up and went downtown to take the staten island ferry, which is freeeeeeee. it was really nice seeing the city skyline and being closer to the statue of liberty (miss libs). we had dinner then went back home to watch some sex and the city and chill.

yesterday i met up with marshall mallicoat who is a fine young gentleman. we met at grand central station (which is really freaking awesome btw) then i raced across town to go on a tour of nbc studios with caroline. i got to go inside the SNL studio which made me so excited. the page kept telling us that we were breathing the same air as chris martin because coldplay had performed there the previous night. so cool. all the studios had lots and lots of lights. the halls are obviously decorated for tourists because they have a lot of framed photos of tv shows and actors lining them. we saw the board of controls (or something) which is where they show everything that is broadcast on the network at any given time. they said that if something bad happens to this one on the east coast they have a backup system that keeps it broadcasting for a whole week without power. then we went to the new york public library and sat there for a while but it was closed. marshall came to hang out with us. we wandered around, hung at grand central some more, then went to madison square park to get shake shack, which was pretty tasty, but not mindblowing i must say, after all the hype i'd heard about it. after dinner we went to a $5 comedy show and it was really funny. this was an incredibly satisfying day.

so i have been taking other notes and will try to do more updates but it's really hard because we stay out all day doing things and then get home. sorry friends. i love ya'll

get happy fast plan

my friend alice is making people 'get happy fast' plans

i said that what would make me happy is her cat simba and my (neighbour's) cat pickles nuzzling

she made this
















:)))))))))))))

oh also the reason susie hasn't been posting is because she is in NYC
she is cooking up a big ass travel post though

spring

when i think about writing a poem i turn off all sounds, sort of stare into space for a while and just see how it feels to exist inside of a human body. it is something like a distant humming, a vibration akin to pins and needles. my body is making the noise that my mac book makes when everything else is silent. this humming sound is produced by the movement of blood pumping through my veins and organs. sometimes this is how i feel after i have been drinking peppermint tea, or when i am in love.

i can feel my heart in my chest as though it is significant, as though it is not just pumping blood around my body but also feeling the weight of all of my actions and interactions. i think about people who have wrapped my body in theirs, like a sheet wound tightly around me. i have never felt so good.

all of this makes my body feel light, and i wrap my arms around myself to make sure i do not float away if the wind decides to take me. all the time i feel as though i could jump up into the air and be carried away.

it is getting warmer

soon the humming of my body

will be eclipsed by the sound of cicadas

soon pohutukawa trees will bloom

and i will shed my inhibitions like layers of clothing

soon i will drink a lot of beer

and kiss your mouth

day in review 1/11/11

woke up at [some time, idk] spooning susie's teddy bear. went on the internet until susie woke up and then susie's friend jordan jumped into bed with us and we talked for a while then went out to get things to make for breakfast. we (mostly susie) made scrambled eggs and mushrooms with pesto. jordan was real stoked re: coffee and life. he left, and then susie left with her flat mate steve to get a new vacuum cleaner. i watched an episode of parks and rec and walked to go meet david on smith st. we got coffee and sat in carlton gardens. it is really beautiful there. then we walked into the city and got vegan cupcakes, walked around laneways looking at street art and tried to break into an abandoned building but were foiled by the po-po. then we met susie and went to a gallery opening and drank free wine. there was this performance art piece with a painted lady standing up in this bed, idk 'art'. afterwards we said our goodbyes to david and fraser picked us up and we went to his house and made this good ass stir fry. susie and i caught the train home and then curled up and watched crazy stupid love feat. our man ryan gosling. was a really terrible movie actually. but i've come to realise that almost any situation i'm in with susie there will be some element of laughter and/or merriment. we went to sleep at 12 or 1am or something.

cat reactions

our reactions to the above videos:

wish we recorded a video of our reaction to our reaction video, bloody meta

airport

i am hungover at the airport

going to throw up all over my blueberry muffin

kept a poem you wrote open in a browser

so i could read it without having access to the internet

which is right now

at the airport you have to pay $10 for 45 minutes of internet

the fuck is that about

just going to type words in text edit

listening to neutral milk hotel

and tapping my foot to keep my mind off

the throwing up thing

i feel nervous and sick

but i am happy

i am sitting by a window

i am warm and i can feel the sun

soon i will be in a different place

but i will feel the same things

i will never stop being who i am

and this is good and this is bad

do i have any liquids more than 100ml in my carry on luggage

during 'two-headed boy pt. 2' i want to sing out

because i always sing out when i hear it

i make my voice sound american

i sang out yesterday

when i was driving my dads car

and i thought of you being there in the passenger seat

and i wondered if i would still sing out

will i utilise the barf bag on the plane

beside me there is a fake fern bush

i touched it to see if it was real

it wasn't real

if i die in a plane crash

please publish this poem on my blog

Unbearable lightness/Saturday

Unbearable lightness by staceteague

ustream

"colleagues, confidants and all round bffs Susie Anderson and Stacey Teague will be doing a ustream at [those times below] feat. poetry, banter, giggling, coldplay and various antipodean antics

we will probably be really sleepy, might even do it in our pjs hehehe

if you want us to read something email one of these places

staceteague@gmail.com
susie.nina@gmail.com


melbourne, aus: monday 31 oct 9am
nz: monday 31 oct 11am
london, uk: sunday 30 oct 10pm
est: sunday 30 oct 6pm
cst: sunday 30 oct 5pm
mst: sunday 30 oct 4pm
pst: sunday 30 oct 3pm

will be here: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/staceyteague "

facebook event: https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=279187105455302

zines

1) Chill Waves: Me, Susie and Zoe made this zine during and after Campus A Low Hum 2011, a music festival held in Bulls, NZ. Bloody gr8 times.
2) Subject #2: Thing I made with Sam, arts/culture thing. He designed it and I edited it. Basically just got all of our friends to contribute stuff. Also we got Nick and Sarah from Einstein Music Journal to do some things.
3) Subject #1: Don't know how I feel about these anymore, they probably aren't for sale unless you really want one.
4) Love zine: It's about love things. Probably my most personal zine.
5) People Are Just People: This zine contains content from this blog circa 2009 maybe, each page has a topic and then the corresponding blog post from both me and Susie.
6) Melbourne Zine: Wrote about when I went to Melbourne last year. For some reason people pick this up the most. Just a lot of silly in-jokes.
7) Bus zine: I used to catch buses a lot circa Oct 2010. Wrote about various bus trips I'd had. Probably my favourite zine idk.
8) Swimming in the wintertime: Most recent zine I made, re: Winter. Gonna make a whole seasonal series of zines.
9) Dinosaur zine: Zine containing all my dinosaur poetry plus other dinosaur-related things, comics, drawings etc.

Email me if you want any of these, preferably for swapsies or something.

staceteague@gmail.com

the forest for the trees

what I wake up to every morning
the nicest thing

Spring 2010

Found this itunes playlist entitled 'Spring Playlist'. I think I made it this time last year. It was an interesting time in my life and these songs make me feel like I am back at my flat in Avondale, sitting on the porch with 40 pages of exam notes, trying desperately to get my life together.

1) Hard Believer - First Aid Kit

2) All My Days - Alexi Murdoch

3) We're All In The Dance - Feist

4) Leif Erikson - Lotte Kestner

5) Audrey H. - Dudley Benson

6) If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out - Cat Stevens

7) For Emma - Bon Iver

8) Shyness Will Get You Nowhere - The Gladeyes

9) This Must Be The Place (Mount Pleasant remix) - The Bears

10) Agoraphobia - Deerhunter

11) I Met Up With A King - First Aid Kit

12) Waiting Around To Die - Townes Van Zandt

81

walking home with red-stained lips
and a phone-light to see where i am walking
are street lights a thing

when i see the moon i almost fall over
all big and kind of orange
looming

the moon reminds me of things
whispering "i am nothing and that is okay"

i feel melodramatic
and laugh at myself
moving my hands over my face

hiding from the moon because the moon is big
and i am small

i am just a person walking around on a planet
and life is not inherently good or bad
it just is
i am not a moon or a star or a galaxy

i have the same value as a blade of grass
but i would like to be a blade of grass

the moon made me think
what does it really mean to know yourself

freckles on my lips and knees
instinctively letting my hair fall this way or that
scars and what made them
looking extremely sad on buses
dispositions

i can draw my own hands from memory

the moon is making the sky orange
the moon is leaking

it is cold
i press my body up against the wind
letting it kiss me

i've got my jacket on
hands in pockets

up on my tip toes

stretching up towards
the orange moon