Friday, September 30, 2011
information about AFL in light of this weekend's 'grand final'
(note: all of this information could be totally wrong)
in australia, the national sport is commonly acknowledged as AFL, which stands for 'australian football league'. (actually when i say, 'in australia' i mean 'in victoria', even though the league pretends to be national. you will see what i mean)
18 players from each side are on the field at any given moment. there are four goal posts. you score 6 points for kicking the ball through the middle two posts or 1 point for the others. i think the players have different positions like 'fullback' and 'ruck' and probably 'captain' but that is all i can remember. plus they basically run all over the field like you do in basketball anyway, positions seem like a non-issue. games are played in quarters and last for about two hours overall, but they can go into overtime for reasons which are unclear to me.
in the australian football league there are 16 teams. but this year a new team called 'sunshine something' or 'gold coast suns' probably was created, because they wanted the football teams to represent the states better. this has happened before to my knowledge, specifically with the fitzroy lions and the brisbane bears. they became the brisbane lions. there is always talk 'off season' about spreading the teams more evenly across the country: most of the teams are based in victoria. this is a list of the teams that exist and the states they are based in, and some of their slogan or commonly referred to names if i can remember them. also they all have songs, i will write some of the lyrics if i can remember them
collingwood magpies (vic) "caaarn the pies". song goes "good old collingwood foreverrrr, they know how to play the game. side by side they stick together.. something something" etc. at the moment on the collingwood town hall there is a big ass banner that has the first line of this song on it. lol
geelong (vic) called the cats, or more accurately "catters!!!!"
fremantle (WA) they are called "dockers", which seems arbitrary, but i think is derived from the fact that fremantle is a port town, ports - docks. maybe? nobody goes for this team idk, but as a girl i liked them because one of their colours is purple
west coast eagles (WA) usually known as "west coast"
port adelaide (SA) known as "port power"
adelaide crows (SA) sometimes people from south australia are called "crow eaters".
western bulldogs (vic) known as "doggies"
carlton (vic) known as carlton, traditionally a crap team. used to be called "carlton blues"
melbourne demons (vic) their song goes something like "it's the team for me and for you...the red and the blue"
essendon (vic) known as bombers. song goes "see the bombers fly up, up!" traditionally collingwood and essendon fans hate each other. also a tradition is for these teams to play an 'anzac day game' (april 25), i think it has something to do with how many of their players were in the first world war. one thing that really annoys me about bombers fans is that they always refer to their team as "essedon". srsly guys there's an N in there
st kilda (vic) "SAINTERZZZZZ"
hawthorn (vic) "hawks!!!!"
richmond (vic) "tIgErZ"
sydney swans (nsw) seems like an elegant animal. maybe ask james about them
north melbourne (vic) somebody from my hometown used to play for this team, his name was shannon something or other. i do not know much about this club now
brisbane lions (QLD) these guys were really good for a while there, winning that cup on the reg. think they are just called "the lions"
this year's grand final is between geelong and collingwood. last night on 'the footy show' the hosts said that they thought geelong would win, that they were ready for the win or something
i was watching that programme because my mum was watching it. she has been an avid afl fan since she moved here with my dad. he went for collingwood. collingwood used to train at the football ground right near my house, which is still painted black and white in their colours. it is tradition in the anderson family to go for collingwood, which accounts for how i know the song so well. when i moved into my place i told my mum it was close to victoria park and she said that dad took her to see a game there when she first arrived.
last year collingwood and st kilda played two grand finals because there was a tie in the first. i remember i was meeting up with some friends at 'crown casino' to hang out after the game and people were just leaving the place really dejected, weird vibes. then somebody told me that it was a draw and i found it really funny. collingwood won the second game which was their first grand final victory in about 18 years. i felt pretty happy about this in a way because i have emoshunal feelings about that team re: my dad. we have this video of the last time they won the grand final in 1991. i think it would be nice if they won again this year, i do not want 'the footy show' people to be right about geelong being ready to win it, because even though cats are my favourite animal the geelong team has always seemed really snarling and horrible. plus it's really nice saying stuff like "caaarn the pies!" cause pies are yummy
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
at 'births deaths and marriages' victoria
walking through the shiny ass foyer in a fuck off building on collins street. feel outta place with a hole in my tights
overheard someone saying 'my husband and i married in las vegas in 1998'
<12 month old baby w/earrings, why do women want to pierce their baby's ears?
have been thinking in depth about the nature of my relationships with boys. in the past have considered myself to be terrified of intimacy and am attempting to work out how accurate this is. friend of mine said that the person who will change my mind about this is 'the person' and if i am looking for it i will be too conscious of it and thus not find 'the person'. also another friend had a similar anecdote about 'one night stands', said one day you find the person that you don't want to leave in the morning lol. so currently i am a morning leaver, not that i have those things a lot but that's my instinct and i have just been considering it lately. and i don't mind it. i am pretty happy continuing on in this vein. think i will be intrigued to meet the person who can change this behaviour mostly b/c it just seems so unlikely.
kids playing hide and seek underneath some benches, saying 'found ya' in exactly the same tone that i used to say it. strongly remember the terror of being found.
at the counter the man is really quiet. trying to find places to stare at that aren't him, for some reason. the 'births deaths and marriages' slogan is 'recognising significant life events'. he printed my certificate and said 'thanks susie'
overheard someone saying 'my husband and i married in las vegas in 1998'
<12 month old baby w/earrings, why do women want to pierce their baby's ears?
have been thinking in depth about the nature of my relationships with boys. in the past have considered myself to be terrified of intimacy and am attempting to work out how accurate this is. friend of mine said that the person who will change my mind about this is 'the person' and if i am looking for it i will be too conscious of it and thus not find 'the person'. also another friend had a similar anecdote about 'one night stands', said one day you find the person that you don't want to leave in the morning lol. so currently i am a morning leaver, not that i have those things a lot but that's my instinct and i have just been considering it lately. and i don't mind it. i am pretty happy continuing on in this vein. think i will be intrigued to meet the person who can change this behaviour mostly b/c it just seems so unlikely.
kids playing hide and seek underneath some benches, saying 'found ya' in exactly the same tone that i used to say it. strongly remember the terror of being found.
at the counter the man is really quiet. trying to find places to stare at that aren't him, for some reason. the 'births deaths and marriages' slogan is 'recognising significant life events'. he printed my certificate and said 'thanks susie'
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
thoughts during "he died with a felafel in his hand"
this movie seems to be about a lot of people who like to sit/stand in the rain
i like the main character a lot
smoking cigarettes makes depression seem cool
australians are funney
found the main character attractive even though he wasn't attractive but sometimes you just see something in people
also because he wears a shirt and suit jacket, think that looks good in contrast with his otherwise ramshackle appearance
he seemed genuine, i think, and that is one of my favourite qualities in people
i liked how everyone in this film seemed really fucked
thought "i guess i just don't like most people" and i felt bad about that but definitely cannot feel otherwise
why is it so hard for me to remember the correct spelling for felafel
scones are pretty good, like cheese ones
good music in this film, going to download the soundtrack (noticed that on the dvd cover it says "with a hip and brooding soundtrack featuring moby, nick cave and the stranglers" lol
being alive is weird, but idk compared to what i guess
it's nice that all his possessions fit into a milk crate, probably not even 1/4 of the cardigans i own would fit into a milk crate
kind of want felafel now
Sunday, September 25, 2011
day in review 25/09/11
Awoken at 6am by wasted ass friends jumping into bed with me. Talked and listened to music for an hour and I went back to sleep and they sat outside in the sun. Had a dream where I was out there with them, like some sort of astral projection or something. Was rly cool. Woke up at 9am and sat out in the sun, made everyone tea and toast. Huna and Laura went to bed and I lay with them for a bit watching Dark Angel (lol). Then my friend Xinia came over with a soy ass coffee for me and we went down to the beach and walked her aunty's dog. The dog was a black labrador named Johnny, he was really sweet but got dog drool all over me. We played in the sand and talked and went on the swings. It was real sunny and I felt good. I got home and Sam called me asking if I wanted to go to a book launch that afternoon. Still had a good 2 hours before I had to do that, so I went to my parent's house because I am house-sitting for them and I had to feed my cat. I sat in the sun and read the rest of During My Nervous Breakdown I Want to Have a Biographer Present by Brandon Scott Gorrell then I made mail for people. Sending/receiving mail is one of my favourite things. Also had a phat dance to Coldplay while I was doing the dishes, felt really life-affirming. I went to Sam's at about 3pm and we went out to get beers. We accidentally got caught in a swarm of rugby fans and it was quite frightening. We drank beers on the deck for a few hours, shooting the proverbial shit, then we went to the book launch at about 6. The book was about industrial unionism in NZ during the First World War and there was a film screening of similar subject matter. Sounds boring but it was interesting enough. Get in2 dat socialism. On the way home I picked up Burger Fuel for Huna because I sensed she would like that based on the txt she sent me earlier saying "merrh". Got home and ate my burger, then Xinia came over with brownies (nailing it today quite frankly, Xinia). We drank wine, listened to music and talked until the wee hours. Can't remember when I went to sleep. Pretty ideal day - 9.8/10.
This is what I looked like on this day:
This is what I looked like on this day:
Friday, September 23, 2011
ways to get to sleep
i am a pretty bad sleeper generally and this week this has been exacerbated by the amount of study that i have to do. my mind is functioning at this ridic level of productivity, so stimulated. hyper alert, intellectually. these are some of the ways that i generally get to sleep or techniques i consider when i cannot do sleeping.
reading - doesn't currently work for me as the book i'm on at the moment (voyage in the dark by jean rhys) only increases anxiety & wards off slumber via ponderings
watch shows - i have employed this method probably 3 out of 4 weeks in any given month, for every month since i have had a laptop. (guess this is how i watch so much television) Fry and Laurie is like my personal lullaby or something which accounts for how i know it so well. also sketch shows are best to fall asleep to b/c you're not missing a narrative when you do sleep. i've often found it weird when i stay at places or have people over and we just 'go to sleep'. seems weird, but i know i am actually the weird one & have a problem. have tried in the past to instigate rules like 'leave laptop in another room' & 'only compute at desk' but these rules last a week or so, & there i am again, cradling my macbook & teddy side by side, night after night. unless! unless i am
drinking - this is legit the only way i can 'fall asleep' with ease. idk. just don't have a quiet mind
write - cos all my ideas come to me when i'm trying to empty my mind. it's hard to decide to write it out b/c turning the light on to get yr pen and paper is admitting you are still awake. but to truly exorcise thoughts sometimes they need to be on paper.
fapping - good way to drain all of the day's remaining energy. post orgasmic state v. relaxing
take dem pills - have been taking some painkillers sometimes... um... people seem to think this is a bad idea, but i do not do it very much and only in extreme situations. i just think that i am unpleasant when i haven't slept enough and i want to be pleasant for people in my life so if i do the sleeping then i will be an enjoyable person and if this helps me then surely that is an ok thing to do. ???????
do exercise - sometimes i go for night walks. infrequently. for a while last year i did running. but mostly i am a lazy so and so. i do not know whether this would help me get to sleep better. maybe i should try doing this and suddenly i will be a better sleeper.
listen to music - i have tried listening to grouper a few nights this week to help myself feel relaxed and like i might fall asleep, but i always try to stay awake until the last couple of songs on the album 'dragging a dead deer up a hill', which is funny b/c the very last song on the album is called 'we've all gone to sleep' but i guess it is my favourite song of hers at the moment so that explains why i try to stay awake to listen to it
reading - doesn't currently work for me as the book i'm on at the moment (voyage in the dark by jean rhys) only increases anxiety & wards off slumber via ponderings
watch shows - i have employed this method probably 3 out of 4 weeks in any given month, for every month since i have had a laptop. (guess this is how i watch so much television) Fry and Laurie is like my personal lullaby or something which accounts for how i know it so well. also sketch shows are best to fall asleep to b/c you're not missing a narrative when you do sleep. i've often found it weird when i stay at places or have people over and we just 'go to sleep'. seems weird, but i know i am actually the weird one & have a problem. have tried in the past to instigate rules like 'leave laptop in another room' & 'only compute at desk' but these rules last a week or so, & there i am again, cradling my macbook & teddy side by side, night after night. unless! unless i am
drinking - this is legit the only way i can 'fall asleep' with ease. idk. just don't have a quiet mind
write - cos all my ideas come to me when i'm trying to empty my mind. it's hard to decide to write it out b/c turning the light on to get yr pen and paper is admitting you are still awake. but to truly exorcise thoughts sometimes they need to be on paper.
fapping - good way to drain all of the day's remaining energy. post orgasmic state v. relaxing
take dem pills - have been taking some painkillers sometimes... um... people seem to think this is a bad idea, but i do not do it very much and only in extreme situations. i just think that i am unpleasant when i haven't slept enough and i want to be pleasant for people in my life so if i do the sleeping then i will be an enjoyable person and if this helps me then surely that is an ok thing to do. ???????
do exercise - sometimes i go for night walks. infrequently. for a while last year i did running. but mostly i am a lazy so and so. i do not know whether this would help me get to sleep better. maybe i should try doing this and suddenly i will be a better sleeper.
listen to music - i have tried listening to grouper a few nights this week to help myself feel relaxed and like i might fall asleep, but i always try to stay awake until the last couple of songs on the album 'dragging a dead deer up a hill', which is funny b/c the very last song on the album is called 'we've all gone to sleep' but i guess it is my favourite song of hers at the moment so that explains why i try to stay awake to listen to it
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Podcast requests
We are taking requests for poetry/short fiction to read on our next podcast. It can be something you have written or just something you like. You can comment here or email staceteague@gmail.com or susie.nina@gmail.com by Sunday (25/09).
You'll get mad shout outs and probably a few famous podcaster coughs and general love from us antipobabes
You'll get mad shout outs and probably a few famous podcaster coughs and general love from us antipobabes
Friday, September 16, 2011
most recent things i have downloaded to my itunes
eric's trip "peter ep" and "love tara"
came across this band whilst on julie doiron's wikipedia page, she played guitar/bass and sang. they seem like a pretty influential canadian band from the early 90s. think it's like "dreamy punk" or something. seems like a really bad band name though. look how cool julie doiron is:
codeine "the white birch"
listened to a track that walter davis posted to facebook and thought "i can deal with this".
///////nEonsense mixtape by neon glittery
she sent me a physical copy of this mix but it had a big crack down the middle so she uploaded it for me. it is a mixture of sweet ass songs that itunes categorize as "psychedelic" and "experimental" mostly, and also her own songs, which I would probably describe as "dream glitch". think i just like any music that could be described as dream [something].
mix cd made for me by victoria
i've been in contact with victoria ever since the livejournal days of yore. she lives in chicago, and we send each other packages back and forth on a pretty casual basis. mix features such artists as the babies, the blow, jeremy jay, yo la tenga, sibylle baier, geto boyz and the velvet underground. just listened to it in the kitchen as i was making toasted sandwiches.
mount eerie "dawn"
this is an album that phil elverum recorded whilst spending a winter by himself in a cabin in a remote part of norway. it is just him and his guitar, really simple and lovely. p. much get at me, phil.
the velvet underground "candy says"
i downloaded this single song because i used to listen to it a lot when i was maybe 15 and i realised i didn't have it anymore due to my mum accidentally deleting my music when I was 16 or so. boy this takes me back to sitting alone in my room writing in my notebook. wait, i still do that. hehehehe.
sleepy age "decor" and "sly one nighters"
downloaded from their bandcamp after watching the video for decor via alice and also remembering that i liked "fuck yr friends". put it on a mix cd that i was recruited to make later that night in order to "get da party started" on the car ride to the gig we were going to. think i suceeded. comments from other people indicated that i had, in fact, "nailed it".
bombay bicycle club "flaws"
i think james told me to download this. i like it a lot. seems like sensitive ass indie music (which we all secretly like, right)
the microphones "it was hot, we stayed in the water", "the glow pt. 2" and "mount eerie"
downloaded these albums on the strength of how much i liked the song "the glow pt. 2" along with everything else phil elverum-related i had heard. eamonn told me i should listen to them in the order they are listed above. this guy knows what he's talking about.
godspeed you! black emperor "lift your skinny fists like antennas to heaven"
this album only has four tracks but they are each about 20 minutes long. all instrumental and really really beautiful.
silver jews "tanglewood numbers"
have had their album "american water" in my itunes for a while but only recently listened to it properly. pretty good. has stephen malkmus on some songs.
young montana? "limerence"
at first i saw that susie was listening to this and thought it was some kind of rap because i kept thinking "young sid" or "young jeezy" or something. in reality it's just some sweet ass beats.
if you want any of these albums just type the band name, then the album name, then mediafire. idk, do people know you can do that, seems like people should, but just in case you don't, [the thing i said].
came across this band whilst on julie doiron's wikipedia page, she played guitar/bass and sang. they seem like a pretty influential canadian band from the early 90s. think it's like "dreamy punk" or something. seems like a really bad band name though. look how cool julie doiron is:
codeine "the white birch"
listened to a track that walter davis posted to facebook and thought "i can deal with this".
///////nEonsense mixtape by neon glittery
she sent me a physical copy of this mix but it had a big crack down the middle so she uploaded it for me. it is a mixture of sweet ass songs that itunes categorize as "psychedelic" and "experimental" mostly, and also her own songs, which I would probably describe as "dream glitch". think i just like any music that could be described as dream [something].
mix cd made for me by victoria
i've been in contact with victoria ever since the livejournal days of yore. she lives in chicago, and we send each other packages back and forth on a pretty casual basis. mix features such artists as the babies, the blow, jeremy jay, yo la tenga, sibylle baier, geto boyz and the velvet underground. just listened to it in the kitchen as i was making toasted sandwiches.
mount eerie "dawn"
this is an album that phil elverum recorded whilst spending a winter by himself in a cabin in a remote part of norway. it is just him and his guitar, really simple and lovely. p. much get at me, phil.
the velvet underground "candy says"
i downloaded this single song because i used to listen to it a lot when i was maybe 15 and i realised i didn't have it anymore due to my mum accidentally deleting my music when I was 16 or so. boy this takes me back to sitting alone in my room writing in my notebook. wait, i still do that. hehehehe.
sleepy age "decor" and "sly one nighters"
downloaded from their bandcamp after watching the video for decor via alice and also remembering that i liked "fuck yr friends". put it on a mix cd that i was recruited to make later that night in order to "get da party started" on the car ride to the gig we were going to. think i suceeded. comments from other people indicated that i had, in fact, "nailed it".
bombay bicycle club "flaws"
i think james told me to download this. i like it a lot. seems like sensitive ass indie music (which we all secretly like, right)
the microphones "it was hot, we stayed in the water", "the glow pt. 2" and "mount eerie"
downloaded these albums on the strength of how much i liked the song "the glow pt. 2" along with everything else phil elverum-related i had heard. eamonn told me i should listen to them in the order they are listed above. this guy knows what he's talking about.
godspeed you! black emperor "lift your skinny fists like antennas to heaven"
this album only has four tracks but they are each about 20 minutes long. all instrumental and really really beautiful.
silver jews "tanglewood numbers"
have had their album "american water" in my itunes for a while but only recently listened to it properly. pretty good. has stephen malkmus on some songs.
young montana? "limerence"
at first i saw that susie was listening to this and thought it was some kind of rap because i kept thinking "young sid" or "young jeezy" or something. in reality it's just some sweet ass beats.
if you want any of these albums just type the band name, then the album name, then mediafire. idk, do people know you can do that, seems like people should, but just in case you don't, [the thing i said].
Thursday, September 15, 2011
got da flu
+ mostly lying down
- not being able to get up really
+ scooby doo marathon on cartoon network
- sickness exacerbating "bad feelings" towards life
+ concentrating on only the most basic human needs
- wanna die
+ watching doctor who a lot
- having a lot of spare time but not really being able to do anything with it
+ the internet
- actually crying due to pain
+ youtube.com
- not being able to leave the house
+ my cat
- probably best if you don't look in any sort of reflective surface
+ perpetual pajamas
- miss human interaction
+ tea
- missed getting to eat my "last day of work cake"
+ toast
- lemsip
+ liquids
- everything hurts
+ secretly eating a lot of cookies
- cold sweats
+ the short window of time in the afternoon where i feel well enough to read my book
- too hot and then too cold
+ the mount eerie album "dawn"
- the most uncomfortable sleep of my life
+ this
- not being able to get up really
+ scooby doo marathon on cartoon network
- sickness exacerbating "bad feelings" towards life
+ concentrating on only the most basic human needs
- wanna die
+ watching doctor who a lot
- having a lot of spare time but not really being able to do anything with it
+ the internet
- actually crying due to pain
+ youtube.com
- not being able to leave the house
+ my cat
- probably best if you don't look in any sort of reflective surface
+ perpetual pajamas
- miss human interaction
+ tea
- missed getting to eat my "last day of work cake"
+ toast
- lemsip
+ liquids
- everything hurts
+ secretly eating a lot of cookies
- cold sweats
+ the short window of time in the afternoon where i feel well enough to read my book
- too hot and then too cold
+ the mount eerie album "dawn"
- the most uncomfortable sleep of my life
+ this
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
List of TV series I have watched in bulk so far this year
Party Down S1+2
Parks & Recreation S1-3
Harvey Birdman S1+2
Archer S1
Snuffbox S1 (didn't really like it? idk)
Masterchef S3
Tom Goes to the Mayor S1
Tim & Eric S1-5 (on repeat)
Community S1+2
Gilmore Girls S1-6
30 Rock S5
Family Guy S9
Gossip Girl S4
Saturday Night Live (selections of latest seasons, also season one)
A Bit of Fry & Laurie S1-4 (always)
Portlandia S1
Entourage S8
Sex and the City S1-6 (twice)
Alias S1, currently on 2
Breaking Bad S1-3, currently on 4
frightened by how much television this is : (
but frightened by the fact that I just want to watch more, there's not enough timeeeeee
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
like the + and - system, so gonna do one for today
- running into my housemate on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, overreacting cos i was sleepy and yelping a number of times
+ making scrambled eggs n mushrooms for breakfast
+ watching friends while it rained and hailed, friends is a really good show
- not being able to decide what i should do tonight
+ walked to De Clieu to use my coffee voucher there
- gums hurting a bit
+ writing breakthrough
- putting off going to the market to get gluten free pizza bases from a health food store there, as a result was just closed when i got there, so had to take more time off writing and go find some at the other end of the city
+ bought 2x 2pacs of bases in the end, on sale!
- skirt keeps 'riding up' during walking cos of static (?) via tights
+ pizza party tonight
+ melissa delaney in town tonight
- looks rainy ass outside
- running into my housemate on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night, overreacting cos i was sleepy and yelping a number of times
+ making scrambled eggs n mushrooms for breakfast
+ watching friends while it rained and hailed, friends is a really good show
- not being able to decide what i should do tonight
+ walked to De Clieu to use my coffee voucher there
- gums hurting a bit
+ writing breakthrough
- putting off going to the market to get gluten free pizza bases from a health food store there, as a result was just closed when i got there, so had to take more time off writing and go find some at the other end of the city
+ bought 2x 2pacs of bases in the end, on sale!
- skirt keeps 'riding up' during walking cos of static (?) via tights
+ pizza party tonight
+ melissa delaney in town tonight
- looks rainy ass outside
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
today
+ someone at work said my hair looked nice
- wanted to cry at various points due to exhaustion
+ made me and hannah scrambled eggs for lunch
- did actually cry a lil in the car on the way to work
+ cuddles with pickles the cat
- feeling bleak re: my finances
+ played stairway to heaven on my dad's guitar but changed it a bit, made it real slow and sang quietly in my lil kiwi accent
- bleak ass call to work and income
+ the glow pt. 2 by the microphones
- really cold feet
+ sitting in the sun with other volunteers during break
- weird leg pain
+ the sky looked real good as the sun was setting and i was driving nearly swerving to look at it more wondering if anyone else was seeing this and why aren't they swerving too
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
sparks
cardigan that used to belong to my grandma, khaki cotton on jeans, thick rugby socks from the warehouse, 2x thermals, new haircut c/o my flat mate Hannah, weird thumb thing c/o idek
i made these raw ass vegan brownies, damn tasty
also made some legit tofu pitas for dinner
walked the dog at the beach with dad, stepped on crunchy shells and felt nice in the cool spring afternoon
i made these raw ass vegan brownies, damn tasty
also made some legit tofu pitas for dinner
walked the dog at the beach with dad, stepped on crunchy shells and felt nice in the cool spring afternoon
felt emotional as shit watching this
booked flights to melbourne from 30th october to 8th november
had/having an internal meltdown re: "da future"
getting into cranberry juice in a big way
feeling extremely upset that i cannot go overseas with susie
feeling really overwhelmed in general
just need to listen to coldplay and cry it all out
booked flights to melbourne from 30th october to 8th november
had/having an internal meltdown re: "da future"
getting into cranberry juice in a big way
feeling extremely upset that i cannot go overseas with susie
feeling really overwhelmed in general
just need to listen to coldplay and cry it all out
sportsgirl oversized jumper thing feat. fox that my friend zoe made (missing an eye)
xxxl men's tommy hilfiger denim shirt thingy
black cotton on jeans
have some fancy ass brogues on too lol
last night i had a dream that thought catalog emailed me and said 'we want to pay you but you'll have to edit that piece' and then i caught some trains some places with some boring girls from high school
have been making decisions lately, gonna go away to usa/uk for a bit. had dinner with my buddy fraser last night and am realising what i'm leaving / love my friends / why am i making this irrational decision ????
been reading more jean rhys, read 'quartet' last week and thought it was pretty good, but i was a bit upset about how reliant marya was on all the men in her life, but i guess it was only the 1920s
thank you to everybody who i whinged about getting my wisdom teeth out to, it was totally fine and my face didn't even swell and my dentist was still gorgeous.. now i have proper painkillers
have been making decisions lately, gonna go away to usa/uk for a bit. had dinner with my buddy fraser last night and am realising what i'm leaving / love my friends / why am i making this irrational decision ????
been reading more jean rhys, read 'quartet' last week and thought it was pretty good, but i was a bit upset about how reliant marya was on all the men in her life, but i guess it was only the 1920s
thank you to everybody who i whinged about getting my wisdom teeth out to, it was totally fine and my face didn't even swell and my dentist was still gorgeous.. now i have proper painkillers
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Facebook chat
16 hours ago
Stacey Teague
i cannot sleep at all
feels bad
16 hours ago
James Duncan
what's keeping you awake
16 hours ago
Stacey Teague
heart palpitations
things in my head
16 hours ago
James Duncan
you've been getting palpitations a lot lately haven't you
it is because of something
16 hours ago
Stacey Teague
i don't think i have been getting them a lot
so tired i wanna cry
16 hours ago
James Duncan
'wholeheartedly' here for you
16 hours ago
Stacey Teague
are you 'wholeheartedly'
i am sitting on the floor and my lil butt is getting cold
i don't want to move
16 hours ago
James Duncan
i am wholeheartedly
i have a cold thing
16 hours ago
Stacey Teague
a cold "thing" or a "cold" thing
16 hours ago
James Duncan
lol…
you are 'on the ball' tonight
16 hours ago
Stacey Teague
idek what is life
i feel
really [something]
just a lot of a thing
this feeling is a stone inside my body and i imagine myself pushing it out with both hands
16 hours ago
James Duncan
i can't really imagine what that feels like
16 hours ago
Stacey Teague
just like you are pushing a stone, a really smooth large stone
16 hours ago
James Duncan
i can't even think of metaphors when i feel bad
trying to 'reconcile' the image with the feeling of my actual body
i don't know
i am trying hard
16 hours ago
Stacey Teague
i don't think about my body, i just think about the stone and how the stone feels on my hands and me pushing it
and the feeling afterwards
lightness
floating
16 hours ago
James Duncan
i'm just finding it difficult to think of that
i can touch things in a peripheral space
all around my body
i used to do it all the time
but it is so thin
i only want to know what is actually here
16 hours ago
Stacey Teague
yes
Saturday, September 3, 2011
times i have crashed my car
when i first started learning to drive i was 14/15. our old driveway had this weird angle and i always used to bang into the corner of the house with my dad's car. there are lil chunks of brick knocked off it. one time i nailed the garage door and put this massive dent in it. it was an electric garage door and after that it took about 30 seconds longer to go up and down. soz. hehe. cheeky lil teen.
for a while i owned this really sweet ass honda accord that i bought from my friend for cheaps. one time when i was staying at sam's house we drove to the shops and when i pulled into a parking spot i put my foot on the accelerator instead of the brake so i slammed into a concrete wall. pretty much smushed the front of my car but everything stayed attached. sam's dad followed behind me in his car when i drove home to make sure nothing fell off. seemed nice. when i got home me and dad did some DIY and tied a piece of rope around my bumper and attached it to his car to pull everything back into place. just a bit of ol' fashioned kiwi know-how.
one time i borrowed my dad's car when joseph and i wanted to go to the movies. i think we wanted to see inception but it was sold out. we returned to his house and i was backing into the driveway and couldn't see the wire fence and it got caught on the back tyre guard and ripped half of it off. i felt like a damn foo'. h8ed lyfe. joseph had some electrical tape and managed to secure the thing back on so it was safe to drive. when i got home i told my dad and i felt really bad and said i would pay for it to get fixed and everything. i felt really bad. i think my dad sensed this so he didn't get mad or anything, he was real chill about it. thnx dad.
my sister let me borrow her car while she was away on holiday. i drove it to work at the cattery. when i went to leave, all these cars had blocked me in and i had to do a gazillion point turn to get out. in the process i knocked a branch off a tree and side-swiped a car. a lady who was waiting to come in saw me do this and held her index finger up to her lips to indicate "ssh", then smiled. i was real flustered at this point and just freaked out and drove away. i think there was a lil scratch on my sister's car but you couldn't really tell. i think i told my sister about the tree but not about the car. i don't think she reads my blog.
backing out of my sister's driveway is really hard, especially in my dad's 4WD. there are these small trees that line the driveway and one time i completely knocked one over, ripped out dem roots and everything. not entirely sure if i did it or if it was the storm but i thought i must have done it considering my previous driving record.
oh yeah and once i reversed out of the garage with one of the doors still open and it made the worst sound ever
i am going for my full drivers license next month
wish me luck
also
just made this father's day card for tomorrow
i cut out the cover from a newspaper and i didn't even know it had the word "father" on it. seemed like fate.
for a while i owned this really sweet ass honda accord that i bought from my friend for cheaps. one time when i was staying at sam's house we drove to the shops and when i pulled into a parking spot i put my foot on the accelerator instead of the brake so i slammed into a concrete wall. pretty much smushed the front of my car but everything stayed attached. sam's dad followed behind me in his car when i drove home to make sure nothing fell off. seemed nice. when i got home me and dad did some DIY and tied a piece of rope around my bumper and attached it to his car to pull everything back into place. just a bit of ol' fashioned kiwi know-how.
one time i borrowed my dad's car when joseph and i wanted to go to the movies. i think we wanted to see inception but it was sold out. we returned to his house and i was backing into the driveway and couldn't see the wire fence and it got caught on the back tyre guard and ripped half of it off. i felt like a damn foo'. h8ed lyfe. joseph had some electrical tape and managed to secure the thing back on so it was safe to drive. when i got home i told my dad and i felt really bad and said i would pay for it to get fixed and everything. i felt really bad. i think my dad sensed this so he didn't get mad or anything, he was real chill about it. thnx dad.
my sister let me borrow her car while she was away on holiday. i drove it to work at the cattery. when i went to leave, all these cars had blocked me in and i had to do a gazillion point turn to get out. in the process i knocked a branch off a tree and side-swiped a car. a lady who was waiting to come in saw me do this and held her index finger up to her lips to indicate "ssh", then smiled. i was real flustered at this point and just freaked out and drove away. i think there was a lil scratch on my sister's car but you couldn't really tell. i think i told my sister about the tree but not about the car. i don't think she reads my blog.
backing out of my sister's driveway is really hard, especially in my dad's 4WD. there are these small trees that line the driveway and one time i completely knocked one over, ripped out dem roots and everything. not entirely sure if i did it or if it was the storm but i thought i must have done it considering my previous driving record.
oh yeah and once i reversed out of the garage with one of the doors still open and it made the worst sound ever
i am going for my full drivers license next month
wish me luck
also
just made this father's day card for tomorrow
i cut out the cover from a newspaper and i didn't even know it had the word "father" on it. seemed like fate.
Friday, September 2, 2011
day in review thurs sept 1 2011
Woke up and computerised while double-cupping coffee and tea. Had some gluten free muesli stuff which has goji berries in it. Sent a text to my friend Beck to see what she was up to, as we had been trying to hang out but failing to actually do it for a long time, which is silly cos she lives nearby me. I suggested that we get a coffee either on Brunswick street or in the city if she was going in. I rode my bike up to her place and we decided to walk into the city together. We ate some lunch at the cafe at my uni. I ate a thai pattie (which is a gross word but it was delicious) with coleslaw and Beck had something that was essentially a toasted sandwich but featuring fancy bread and deli items as filling. We were sitting under an umbrella in the sun and it was beautiful, a nice day for the first day of Spring actually but neither of us mentioned that it was a new season. We were having good talks about feeling awkward in creative cliques in Melbourne and our studies. Beck had a ticket to the launch of Going Down Swinging that night and offered it to me. I said I would think about it. Beck decided that she was going to walk back home and do some writing for class and I had errands to run.
Walking past the State Library I ran into my friend Jordan. He had been visiting galleries on his day off work. I hijacked him and made him accompany me on my errands. We went to JB Hi-Fi and I bought a pair of headphones to replace the ones of mine that were stolen a few weeks ago. I went to the 3 phone store to ask if I had to officially cancel my contract with them. We went to First Site together and as we were walking past the RMIT Gallery noticed that there was an opening there that evening. We decided to go there later. Jordan and I had coffee at the same place I had lunch. I like eating there because they give student discounts. We talked about people we know, housemates and other things like when we started drinking coffee. We split up so I could finish my errands and go study for a bit. I wrote nearly 800 words, which was only 200 off my target for the day. I decided that I would go to the GDS launch after the gallery opening because my friend Amber was. I rode my bike to Beck's house and it felt dangerous for some reason. She sold me the ticket for only $20 which was nice of her and said that since we'd lunched she wrote 500 words. I met Jordan at the exhibition and we had some wines. The exhibition is about street art, zines, pasting and stickers. The stuff is pretty cool, but it was weird seeing it in a white, sterile environment. I became slightly intoxicated from the wine because I had not eaten for a little while. We decided to leave the show and go get some chips. We got these nice chips from burger edge. There was aioli on them too but it was not as nice as other places. Too runny. I was talking outrageously thanks to the wine, I think I said a lot of stuff about travel and friendships and sex. Jordan is a good friend who doesn't mind what I say though.
He went home and I met Amber under the clock at Melbourne Central (This is a quintessential Melbourne meeting place). Her friend arrived and we went to the Toff where the launch was being held. It was packed. We made our way through the crowd and sat down on the ground. There were three brackets featuring two poets in each. I think my favourite was Ken Arkind, maybe because he was a ginger and had a big beard. But Mahogany Brown was really good too, she seems like a gal I could get on with. I was tired at the end so I decided to leave my bike at uni and get the bus home with Amber. My Myki (one of those travel cards you top up) didn't work when I was trying to 'touch off' at the back of the bus so I went to the front and felt silly, like I was holding everybody up. I was hungry when I arrived home and I cut up some carrot and ate it with peanut butter.
KEWL DAY GUYS 9.5/10 PROBABLY
Walking past the State Library I ran into my friend Jordan. He had been visiting galleries on his day off work. I hijacked him and made him accompany me on my errands. We went to JB Hi-Fi and I bought a pair of headphones to replace the ones of mine that were stolen a few weeks ago. I went to the 3 phone store to ask if I had to officially cancel my contract with them. We went to First Site together and as we were walking past the RMIT Gallery noticed that there was an opening there that evening. We decided to go there later. Jordan and I had coffee at the same place I had lunch. I like eating there because they give student discounts. We talked about people we know, housemates and other things like when we started drinking coffee. We split up so I could finish my errands and go study for a bit. I wrote nearly 800 words, which was only 200 off my target for the day. I decided that I would go to the GDS launch after the gallery opening because my friend Amber was. I rode my bike to Beck's house and it felt dangerous for some reason. She sold me the ticket for only $20 which was nice of her and said that since we'd lunched she wrote 500 words. I met Jordan at the exhibition and we had some wines. The exhibition is about street art, zines, pasting and stickers. The stuff is pretty cool, but it was weird seeing it in a white, sterile environment. I became slightly intoxicated from the wine because I had not eaten for a little while. We decided to leave the show and go get some chips. We got these nice chips from burger edge. There was aioli on them too but it was not as nice as other places. Too runny. I was talking outrageously thanks to the wine, I think I said a lot of stuff about travel and friendships and sex. Jordan is a good friend who doesn't mind what I say though.
He went home and I met Amber under the clock at Melbourne Central (This is a quintessential Melbourne meeting place). Her friend arrived and we went to the Toff where the launch was being held. It was packed. We made our way through the crowd and sat down on the ground. There were three brackets featuring two poets in each. I think my favourite was Ken Arkind, maybe because he was a ginger and had a big beard. But Mahogany Brown was really good too, she seems like a gal I could get on with. I was tired at the end so I decided to leave my bike at uni and get the bus home with Amber. My Myki (one of those travel cards you top up) didn't work when I was trying to 'touch off' at the back of the bus so I went to the front and felt silly, like I was holding everybody up. I was hungry when I arrived home and I cut up some carrot and ate it with peanut butter.
KEWL DAY GUYS 9.5/10 PROBABLY
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