03/09/12

we walk together with linked arms through central london because that is the only way we can face it all. people look at you and they don't look at you. i'm sitting cross-legged on the floor of your room in the dark typing typing and i don't know what any of this means and i don't know if i know myself or if i even care about anything at all anymore except foreign cities and looking out train windows and the way things look in the glow of my laptop. on the train ride i couldn't sleep even though i was so tired i just kept thinking about you tucking my hair behind my ears and my god that felt so good to remember. there are things i try to love and there are things i try not to love and i'm not sure which is worse. walking in the streets through piss and puke and glitter we don't give a fuuuuuck. and i really really don't know what i'm becoming and if it's better or worse than before but it is something. i'm sick of pretending i don't love what i love anymore. why why why do all the good ones have girlfriends we say and what picture of drake should i use as my cover photo quick this is important can you please download mighty ducks 2. oh the light coming through the window makes beautiful patterns on the walls of your bedroom at this time of night i wish you could see it. remember when i closed my eyes and all i saw were kiwifruit. i'm so afraid of everything but i pretend not to be and it's easy to give in to you because your skin feels like home but why can't my own skin feel like that. i know a lot about hands now, and the first time i held yours in a forest somewhere and the first time i held yours in a forest somewhere and the first time i held yours in a street somewhere and the first time i held yours in a bed somewhere. taking your fingers in mine like lengths and lengths of love.