notes on "a million bears" by spencer madsen

read the first poem, then i read the same poem again out loud
the next day on facebook chat i said to spencer:

"i liked the part in that poem where you talked about birds
i read that one out loud to myself when it was very late at night
seemed nice"

i read "if this is poetry then what was shakespeare doing
seriously" and did a giggle

i felt things whilst reading the part about the laundry room and i enjoyed how it was like one never ending stream of consciousness, and when i read it i was holding my breath but i was not aware of holding my breath and i liked the way that that made me feel

i laughed out loud at "stared at a bird that looked like the twitter bird thinking 'tell me how to get more followers, please'" and then read "chicken is a bird not a food people don't think about that i think" whilst nodding and making hand gestures that i guess conveyed "i know right"

read this re: existentialism "we are all fucked and it's okay because it is all beautiful" and thought repeatedly "yes, yes, yes" whilst wanting to go on facebook chat and tell spencer madsen "yes, yes, yes"

i read about intimate things like "if i rolled over / she would lightly / kiss my arm / half asleep" and thought about my own intimate things. i thought about being in bed with people. i thought about eyes and hands mostly.

reminded me of falling in love and the times that i was "falling in love" and wondered how many more times i will feel the "falling in love" thing and felt scared and excited

read tweets about his cat like "told my cat i may get a bird he said 'if you do i will eat it' i said please don't" and felt impressed with how many times birds had been mentioned so far

thought "#thatawkwardmomentwhen you realise everyone is alone and unhappy" seemed like a cheeky thing to say. thought that spencer madsen is probably very cheeky.

did two short laughs and then one long laugh at "wish the word tabernacle meant something more applicable in everyday parlance, like my tabernacle is itchy, or bro put your tabernacle away" "i think i just wish tabernacle meant penis"

read "listen to 'going to georgia' three times and feel okay each time" and then listened to the song "going to georgia" two times (intentionally not listening to it a third time)

when i read the poem about mallory whitten i remembered that the first time spencer madsen ever talked to me on gchat was to ask if he thought this poem was okay and i said that it was

i finished the book and thought that i would like to live inside of spencer madsen's head but be free to move away for periods of time if i wanted to

you can order his book from here