28 everything in my mind is hurtling from one stupid side to the other
30 i am basically inconsolable so much of the time
3 keep trying - when alone - to remember beautiful, simple or interesting things to write down later
6 reading miranda july makes me feel like i'm definitely going to write some sort of erotic fiction thing
"i made orange juice from concentrate and showed her the trick of squeezing the juice of one real orange into it. she marveled at this and i laughed and said life is easy. what i meant was life is easy with you here, and when you leave, it will be hard again"
miranda july, ten true things
8 i want more than anything to not feel like having someone else here would make me feel whole or complete or at ease... i am tired ...
10 we could stay up late watching the large screen television at kew junction (the one advertising nissan cars)
11 aghast aghast aghast
22 3 days to xmas, feel so devoid of any cheer
25 i keep thinking of poetic parallels like my hair being purple and sitting under jacaranda trees hearing the petals drop to the ground like rain
"could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?"
henry david thoreau, walden
26 when you have work it feels like all your spare time is just counting down towards when you're meant to be working next (in my mind i see a ribbon unravelling, fraying towards the end, emptying itself into space)
30 also the country smells so beautiful!
4 on days like today it is as if no one else exists, as if the city is shut down
5 i feel truly childishly upset
"i am jealous of the hawk because he can get so far out of the world, or i follow with passionate envy the seagull swooping to possible cessation"
elizabeth smart, by grand central station i sat down and wept
9 'the water' is such a good thing
12 seems like i've had entirely the wrong idea of what the date is.. for days now
"now the idea of dying violently becomes an act wrapped in attractive melancholy and displayed with every blandishment. for there is no beauty in denying love, except perhaps by death, and towards love what way is there?"
elizabeth smart
30 i am basically inconsolable so much of the time
3 keep trying - when alone - to remember beautiful, simple or interesting things to write down later
6 reading miranda july makes me feel like i'm definitely going to write some sort of erotic fiction thing
"i made orange juice from concentrate and showed her the trick of squeezing the juice of one real orange into it. she marveled at this and i laughed and said life is easy. what i meant was life is easy with you here, and when you leave, it will be hard again"
miranda july, ten true things
8 i want more than anything to not feel like having someone else here would make me feel whole or complete or at ease... i am tired ...
10 we could stay up late watching the large screen television at kew junction (the one advertising nissan cars)
11 aghast aghast aghast
22 3 days to xmas, feel so devoid of any cheer
25 i keep thinking of poetic parallels like my hair being purple and sitting under jacaranda trees hearing the petals drop to the ground like rain
"could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?"
henry david thoreau, walden
26 when you have work it feels like all your spare time is just counting down towards when you're meant to be working next (in my mind i see a ribbon unravelling, fraying towards the end, emptying itself into space)
30 also the country smells so beautiful!
4 on days like today it is as if no one else exists, as if the city is shut down
5 i feel truly childishly upset
"i am jealous of the hawk because he can get so far out of the world, or i follow with passionate envy the seagull swooping to possible cessation"
elizabeth smart, by grand central station i sat down and wept
9 'the water' is such a good thing
12 seems like i've had entirely the wrong idea of what the date is.. for days now
"now the idea of dying violently becomes an act wrapped in attractive melancholy and displayed with every blandishment. for there is no beauty in denying love, except perhaps by death, and towards love what way is there?"
elizabeth smart
